When the psychologist Orna Guralnik was approached to do a documentary series following the experience people have while doing couples therapy, she hesitated.
“I had endless ethical concerns,” she said. Top of the list was whether people who agreed to be on the show would have a complete understanding of how much privacy they were giving up and then if there was any way to successfully do therapy without confidentiality.
“It was a slow process of tackling these questions and experimenting,” she added.
“Couples Therapy,” which airs on Showtime and streams on Paramount+, is now in its fifth season and has featured intimate conversations with 23 couples and one polyamorous triad. The positive feedback was not what Dr. Guralnik was expecting.
“It’s still kind of shocking how much it means to people,” she said, adding: “It’s given them something that they didn’t have, whether it’s access to thinking as therapists or access to the psychological language or being able to see other people in their very honest struggles with each other.”
Dr. Guralnik was even more surprised by viewers’ fascination with her — including but not limited to the braid she wears in her hair, her outfits or her dog — even though she doesn’t quite know what to make of it.
“I am not of the younger generation, so for me, it’s a little of a visit to another world — that’s been funny and surprising,” she said.
On a video call from her writing retreat in France, Dr. Guralnik spoke about her favorite ways to spend time with her friends and family, the appeal of Utah and the genius of Kendrick Lamar. These are edited excerpts from the conversation.
The Parent Circle Families Forum
It’s an organization of bereaved parents, both Palestinian and Israeli, who’ve lost people to the horrible conflict and have decided to come together to create a certain kind of peace movement that tries to transcend bloodshed and vengefulness in the name of peace. That’s what I believe in, that’s what I try to live by as a human, and that’s what my work is about.
A Good Novel and No Plans for the Day
It’s part of what makes life good. You grab a really good book and can just immerse yourself, away from all this.
First Tracks on a Long, Perfectly Groomed Slope in Utah
I’ve been skiing since I was a tween. It’s a peak experience. You can ski in Utah when it’s 40 degrees and the snow doesn’t melt and doesn’t ice. In my mind it’s the best ski place in the world. I know people argue with me, but this is my happy place.
Playing Salad Bowl with My Family and Friends
It’s hilarious. There’s no more fun game than this game. You go through three rounds where it’s two teams and — somehow without speaking the exact words — your team guesses what the word is that you pull out of a hat.
Time With My Kids
I CitiBike ride with my son to see the sunset at the Brooklyn waterfront and talk to my daughter about her academic papers. The best.
William Forsythe’s Choreography
I think he’s a genius, a true genius. His choreography is really life-changing. It’s both technically incredible and beautiful. It’s profound both in terms of the technicality and form of it, but also the kind of meaning he excavates in his work and how he takes political responsibility. He knows that we’re steeped in politics in everything we do. And it’s evident in his work.
Kendrick Lamar
There’s one video when he was on “The Tonight Show” from 10 years ago called “Untitled Eight,” where he’s performing live. And you see his “geniosity,” both as a musician, as a person who moves and as a political figure. Every time I watch this video — and I’ve shown it to many, many people — I just feel like this is genius work.
An 8 a.m. Espresso With My Best Friend
I go to this cafe every morning, and a couple of times a week Betsey joins me. That starts my day in the best way possible.
Traveling With My Writing Group
I have a longstanding writing group, and we travel to conferences and to writing retreats. The people are just fantastic. They’re my intellectual family.
Watching ‘The Daily Show’ With Jon Stewart
He’s really the only person I can stand hearing the news from. There are still like-minded people that see the crazy uncertainty in all of this. I just have so much gratitude to him and I’m so happy he exists with his courage and wit and outrageousness.
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