Have you ever been called “low vibrational” for bringing down the mood or excessively complaining? Well, people are turning this insult into a relationship pattern, warning others not to get trapped in the “low-vibrational” relationship.
Here’s what you should know about this relationship dynamic—and how to avoid losing yourself in it.
What Is a Low-Vibrational Relationship?
There are countless interpretations of a “low-vibrational” relationship, some of which can be harsh and even harmful. In this article, we’re not discussing partners who are struggling with their mental health or enduring periods of grief. Rather, we’re talking about an unhealthy and unbalanced dynamic between two people who aren’t giving the same effort.
According to Dr. Linda Dolin, the Medical Director of The Sylvia Brafman Mental Health Center, “A low-vibrational relationship is a relationship where one person feels drained by their partner, causing the relationship to feel one-sided.”
“It often occurs when one partner finds themselves putting in the majority of the effort and receiving neither gratitude nor reciprocity in return,” she explains. “This dynamic leaves the partner who is putting in the effort feeling drained and unenergized, which can lead to resentment and conflict if left unaddressed.”
Signs of a Low-Vibrational Relationship?
Wondering whether you’re in a low-vibrational relationship? Here are a few signs to look out for.
Unbalanced Communication
There’s nothing more “low vibrational” than being with someone who doesn’t communicate with you.
“One of the main signs of a low-vibrational relationship is that communication is highly uneven and often fraught,” says Dolin.
One-Sided Support
Have you ever dated someone who secretly resented your success? Perhaps they were competitive or merely jealous, but they rarely celebrated you or acknowledged your accomplishments.
“Often, the more proactive partner is more likely to speak positively about the other’s accomplishments or personality, while the other may ignore them or brush them off,” Dolin says. “The low-vibrational partner may even undermine the other’s accomplishments and good deeds, which can leave them feeling like their efforts are not being respected.”
Lack of Gratitude and Reciprocity
Another sign of a low-vibrational relationship is a lack of mutual gratitude.
“The less active partner may come to take the others’ actions for granted, causing them not to display gratitude or repay the others’ efforts in kind,” Dolin says. “This can erode trust and make the proactive partner feel like nothing they do is good enough for the other, which can diminish their own self-esteem. This can negatively impact both their mental health and their relationship satisfaction, at which point they may need to seriously reconsider the terms of the relationship.”
How Might You Address a ‘Low-Vibrational’ Relationship
If you think you might be in a low-vibrational relationship, don’t fret: there are ways to address the issue without breaking up.
“In order to address this type of relationship, it is important for the proactive partner to communicate openly and set clear boundaries with their partner,” says Dolin. “Often, the partner who puts in more effort ends up doubling down in an attempt to impress the other person and get them to reciprocate.”
This is a slippery slope that usually only leads to more resentment, frustration, and uneven effort.
“The proactive partner can prevent this situation by being open about their own needs, as this prevents the other from treating their above-and-beyond actions as baseline expectations,” Dolin concludes.
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