Just because you’ve been funny on TV, or funny in a movie, does not mean you will be funny at a college commencement. We know because we listened to a lot of speeches this graduation season and, well, not all of them made us laugh.
We’re going to focus on the ones that did.
Jane Lynch, whose bona fides stretch from “Glee!” to “Only Murders in the Building,” wrapped up her thoughts with this bit of wisdom, speaking at Cornell University:
“Let us recap: don’t give back, don’t have goals, don’t believe in anything, don’t be a humorless do-gooder, don’t be scared — you big baby — don’t let people tell you what to do or shouldn’t do — especially me, don’t listen to me.”
Here are some of our other favorite moments.
Conan O’Brien – Harvard University
Conan O’Brien’s speech to Harvard University graduates was filled with wisdom, saying nothing he has achieved was done alone and talking about the need to pivot when things didn’t go his way. The talk show host, podcaster and member of Harvard’s class of 1985 dropped inside references to campus life and the university’s battles with the Trump administration.
He never went long without delivering a punch line, and they often tumbled out in quick succession.
“Today you are the 375th graduating class,” said O’Brien, 63. “Did you know that the first graduating class in 1642 had only nine students? Yeah. And somehow even they were all legacies. That’s hard to do.”
Then he added: “No university in our nation has produced more Nobel laureates or white-collar criminals. So, whether you choose good or evil, know that you are among the very best.”
And like many of the very best comics, he repeatedly made himself the butt of the joke:
“For your entire academic lives you have been lectured to by lots and lots of old white men. And now when you are minutes from getting out the door, Harvard is saying, `Not so fast. We found one more. He graduated 41 years ago, and he’s not just white but shockingly white.’”
Harrison Ford — Arizona State University
Harrison Ford had a serious message in his commencement speech at Arizona State University. The “Star Wars” and “Indiana Jones” actor told students not just to pursue their passion, but also to find a purpose.
But Ford, 83, also joked about how he stumbled into acting, saying that he signed up for a drama class just to find an “easy A.”
“My classmates were people I had previously discounted as geeks and misfits, but I soon realized I was a geek and a misfit,” he told the students. “I had found my fit. These were my people.”
Tom Brady — Georgetown University
Seven-time Super Bowl champion Tom Brady, 48, isn’t a comedian. But Brady poked fun at his famous former coach Bill Belichick in a speech at Georgetown University.
“I want you to challenge yourself with ideas that are uncomfortable and people who push you to be your very best,” he said. “Even if one of those people is a cranky old coach who cuts the sleeves off his sweatshirt and screams at you all day, DO YOUR JOB!”
“Okay, that’s too specific in my experience. You guys get the point,” said Brady, who is now a commentator for Fox Sports.
Brady, who spoke to undergrads at Georgetown’s business school, also sprinkled his speech with other sports jokes (including a jab at Jets fans) and a crack about his age.
“Do you remember Blockbuster, Kodak, Nokia, Blackberry?” he asked. “I didn’t think so. Maybe some of your parents did.”
Rachel Dratch — Dartmouth College
At Dartmouth, alumna Rachel Dratch, 60, only briefly slipped into her most famous “Saturday Night Live” character — the buzzkill Debbie Downer, whose dark comments were punctuated by sad trombone noises.
Dratch, a comedian, actor, writer and podcaster, who like many graduation speakers was awarded an honorary degree, greeted the class of 2026 this way: “We are here to celebrate your achievement for today you earned your degree …
“For you it took four long years. And for me less than a minute. I guess I’m just a quick study.
“You know, it doesn’t matter,” she told them reassuringly. “This isn’t about comparing. The point is, we’re all wearing robes, and at the end of the day, we all put our robes on one leg at a time.”
With faculty in regalia seated behind her laughing, she said, “Of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t welcome my fellow doctorate scholars here. We’re all doctors now together.”
“How many of my fellow doctors have worn 13 wigs in one night?” she asked.
By the end, horns launched into the jaunty, very-much-not-sad “Seventy-Six Trombones,” and she accompanied on kazoo, marching around the stage.
Dratch said, “I did what I said I was going to do: Change your lives with this commencement speech.”
Lauren Lumpkin and Danielle Douglas-Gabriel contributed to this report.
Did we miss your favorite? Please share it in the comments below.
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