Six months after Dr. Evelyn Seiden Ivey and Thomas Joseph Rotelli Jr. began dating, Rotelli surprised her with two newborn miniature donkeys for her birthday. When the couple went to pick them up from a breeder in California’s Sierra Foothills, Ivey watched as a group of the animals surrounded Rotelli in the pasture.
The breeder noticed it, too.
“She said, ‘You keep that man. Donkeys are an excellent judge of character,’” Ivey recalled.
Donkeys aren’t the only creatures drawn to Rotelli, 60. “Whenever there are horses, they come up to Tom and want to nuzzle him,” Ivey said. “My dogs adore him. He’s just such a gentle person.”
As a veterinarian, Ivey, 56, said she finds it hard to imagine being with a partner who doesn’t connect with animals. They’re central to her life, and inextricable from her identity.
Rotelli and Ivey, who were both divorced, were introduced by a mutual friend in the summer of 2021. Before their first date in October of that year, they spent months getting acquainted through text messages and emails that covered, among other topics, their histories with pets.
Rotelli, a teacher and life coach, told her about his son’s yellow Labrador retriever, an expert swimmer, and learned Ivey had lived with lizards and snakes. They exchanged photos of their fish tanks — “Evelyn’s was a work of art,” he said.
On their first date, at Coffee Republic in Folsom, Calif., it instantly became clear their in-person chemistry matched the easy rapport they’d developed online.
“We had been making each other laugh for so long that I just wanted to not screw up the in-person meeting,” Rotelli said. “Even back when we were just texting, I felt Evey was a kindred spirit and intellect. I felt understood at every turn.”
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Through her business, Peace for Pets, Ivey provides euthanasia for ailing animals at home. She earned a bachelor’s degree in biological sciences from Cornell, received a veterinary degree from the University of California, Davis and taught at the University of Pennsylvania’s veterinary school before entering private practice.
Rotelli has his own connection to the University of Pennsylvania. It’s where he received a master’s degree in applied positive psychology, which focuses on resilience, well-being and other factors that help people thrive. He is now a part-time faculty member in the department there.
In addition to teaching at the university, he shares the principles of positive psychology with women and girls in Afghanistan through video chats organized by Nava International, an educational nonprofit group. He also mentors unhoused youth through Waking the Village, a nonprofit organization that supports young people experiencing homelessness.
“We both help people for a living, and we both help people for a hobby,” said Rotelli, who earned a bachelor’s degree in electrical engineering and computer science from Johns Hopkins University.
They both help animals, too.
Ivey likes to tell the story of the time Rotelli came to the aid of a friend’s pet bearded dragon, which was suffering from constipation.
“Tom would be up at two in the morning giving the bearded dragon a warm-water bath to help it poop, and I’m just like, ‘This is the man for me,’” Ivey said. “That Tom would have that much care for the animal, but also for the people who love the animal — that really is who Tom is.”
Just as Ivey was moved by witnessing Rotelli with animals, he has been touched by watching her evolving relationship with his two sons. “They absolutely adore her,” he said.
Now in their early 20s, Rotelli’s children were teenagers living with him when the couple first met. Ivey quickly charmed them.
“She sent them a song called ‘99 Words for Boobs,’” Rotelli said. “They’re like, ‘This is the one, Dad.’ We just moved into a new house, and she’s made sure that they feel exactly like it’s their home, too.”
That house, in Newcastle, near Sacramento, Calif., has enough land for their growing menagerie: three donkeys; two dogs; six peacocks; five chickens; four hens; and a rooster. They merged their fish tanks and recently relocated more than 100 koi from their former home. They expect to welcome horses soon.
Their shared life revolves around the critters and ranch they care for and the passions they’ve introduced each other to.
Ivey joined Rotelli’s Rotary Club, and after months of watching Ivey play ice hockey, Rotelli tried the sport himself. Now they’re on the same team.
“I didn’t even ice skate before I met Evelyn,” he said.
The pair got married May 30 at the Flower Farm, a wedding venue in Loomis, Calif., before about 130 guests. The officiant was Ivey’s brother, Dr. Samuel Seiden, who was previously ordained through the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
“My hope for you two is to continue to make each other happy,” Seiden told the couple at the ceremony, wishing them a future filled with furred and feathered friends “too numerous to count.”
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