Want to impress your potential suitors this summer? According to a recent survey of 3,000 adults from a self-growth app RiseGuide, you might want to leave your birth chart at home.
Just under 20% of respondents considered an obsession with astrology a red flag. Of course, if you’re into zodiac signs, that doesn’t mean you should hide your passion. Just know it might weed out some of your more incompatible partners.
Astrology aside, the survey identified several dating green and red flags, from dark humor to reading habits. Ian Hawkins, coach and communications expert at RiseGuide, suggests some dos and don’ts for a successful first date.
1. Do Maintain Eye Contact
This might seem obvious, but maintaining eye contact is a must on a date, and many adults agree. In fact, 42% said that steady eye contact was a green flag.
While it might feel uncomfortable or intimidating to lock eyes with the stranger across from you on a first date, it shows the other person that you’re present and not distracted by external factors, like your phone or other people.
“Keep comfortable eye contact while the other person is speaking, not just when it’s your turn to talk,” says Hawkins. “It makes you seem genuinely interested and engaged in the conversation.”
2. Don’t Reach For the Thesaurus
While a confident speech and a wide vocabulary are green flags for 73% of respondents, this applies only to natural speaking. In other words, you shouldn’t force the use of big words and profound language just to appear smart.
“Data shows that vocabulary signals intelligence, but when it’s natural,” says Hawkins. “‘Utilize’ instead of ‘use’ reads just as trying too hard.”
3. Do Keep Your Stories Short
Some people are more outgoing and chatty than others, and you certainly shouldn’t dull your own light on a first date. However, make sure you’re not dominating the conversation without asking your date questions about themselves or listening to their stories. According to 34% of respondents, talking too much is a major red flag.
“[It] was one of the biggest signs people associated with low intelligence, and nerves on a first date often make people over-explain,” says Hawkins.
4. Don’t Obsess Over Your Appearance or Trends
According to the RiseGuide survey, 32% of people agree that obsessing over your looks is a red flag. Additionally, many are turned off by those who pay too much attention to pop culture trends and AI.
“A third of people see constant name-dropping—brands, schools, connections—as trying too hard, not a sign of intelligence,” says Hawkins.
Now, if you’re interested in social trends and beauty, like I said for the astrology-lovers earlier, own it. Don’t downplay your own passions to force a connection. Just know you might lose interest from some daters along the way, in which case, it’s for the best.
As contradictory yet cliché as this piece of advice might be, be considerate, be present, and be true to yourself. You might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but not everyone deserves a taste of you anyway.
The post 4 First-Date Mistakes to Avoid If You Want to Keep Seeing Someone, According to Experts appeared first on VICE.
