Greg Pruitt had a surprise for his wife, Ashley. It was 2023 and the young family was about to transfer from Oklahoma’s Altus Air Force Base to her next posting. Altus was special to them. It’s where Ashley’s military career had bloomed and so had their relationship, after Greg finally got the nerve to ask her out.
So he arranged a date, a professional photo shoot for the two of them and children Emilia, 3, and Oliver, 12. In the amber-hued photographs of that afternoon, Ashley holds onto Greg as he dips her into the sunlight and she beams.
Last month, Greg pulled out the photos as he prepared for a celebration of Ashley’s life. The technical sergeant, 34, died in March after a midair collision over Iraq between two KC-135 Air Force refueling tankers, a tragedy that unfolded as scores of aircraft crisscrossed the Middle East during the early days of the Iran war.
“She loved the responsibility and dynamic of being part of the crew,” Greg Pruitt said of his late wife. “She thrived when there was something to be done — and she knew she could do it better than most.”
Ashley Pruitt is one of 13 service members killed in action since hostilities with Iran began in late February. A 14th service member died after a medical emergency in Kuwait in March. They’ve joined the hundreds of thousands of service members who since the United States’ founding have lost their lives defending the country, a sacrifice that is honored each Memorial Day.
What’s unique about this conflict is the proportion of female troops who’ve been wounded or killed. In the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, women accounted for about 2 percent of all American combat casualties. They account for 12 percent — 47 out of 405 — of those wounded by Iranian counterattacks, according to Pentagon records, and 23 percent — three of 13 — of those who have died. In addition to Pruitt, Master Sgt. Nicole Amor, 39, and Maj. Ariana Savino, 31, have also been killed in action.
That more women are being wounded or killed in combat is not surprising, said Navy veteran Elisa Cardnell, president of the Service Women’s Action Network. Iran’s reliance on attack drones and longer-range missiles to strike back at U.S. forces has essentially put all American facilities in the Middle East on the war’s front lines. It’s also been 10 years since the military opened all combat positions to women. In that time, they’ve filled positions in more combat-exposed infantry, armor and special operations posts, she said.
“Women that join the military, all of us that put on the uniform, we do that knowing we are going to go into harm’s way, especially those currently serving,” Cardnell said.
Nicole Amor was also a mom, to Adeline, 9, and Owen, 18. She served as an Army logistician, responsible for the movement of her unit’s supplies and equipment.
But “she was so much more than that,” said her husband, Joey Amor.
During drives to the kids’ activities, Nicole and Adeline had a secret game to stare at traffic lights until they turned green. “Girl power,” Nicole taught her daughter.
Adeline just shared that secret memory with her dad last week. They were in the car, and the 9-year-old said she missed girl power time with her mom.
“It’s more than make-believe superpowers, right?” Joey Amor said. “It made my daughter feel stronger and more in tune to who she was.”
“My wife had a way of connecting with the kids on a level that made them feel seen. It made them feel heard, and it made them feel powerful,” he said.
Nicole Amor was killed with five other service members on March 1, in the earliest hours of the war, when an Iranian drone struck their base in Kuwait. The attack has raised questions about whether troops in the region were deployed with adequate protections given Iran’s known missile and drone capabilities.
Joey and Nicole Amor met in military training at Fort Eustis in Virginia. Back then, Joey had a 2007 Chevy Colorado that he’d personalized with a wooden flatbed. As he was walking from a class one day, he looked across the parking lot and saw a woman sitting on his truck.
“By the time I got over to my truck, she was gone. I was like, ‘the brass on this girl,’” Joey Amor recalled. A week later, at a bar with friends, he saw her again.
“We ended up closing out the bar,” he said.
On their first date, Joey asked Nicole to marry him.
“My wife was loved by more people than I could articulate to you,” he said. For her service, “I had to get a funeral venue with a thousand seats.”
Ashley Pruitt was a boom operator on the KC-135 refueler — the service member responsible for making sure approaching fighter jets get correctly connected to the tanker’s rigid fuel line. In the back of the plane she’d lie on her stomach to look out a small window, each hand on a joystick to lower the line or shift it if a fighter started to drift.
It’s a delicate job managed with a deft touch and a sharp eye, an incorrect connection or approach can foul up a line, damage a plane or cause an accident.
Ashley “was a natural at it,” her husband said.
Like Greg Pruitt, who worked in a civilian job at the same base Ashley was assigned to, Joey Amor also left the military while his wife stayed in. They talked about what that would mean for their family. Even though Nicole was a reservist, they both understood that “you’re committing to the military full time, regardless of whether you’re active duty or not,” Joey said, and the two would work out schedules.
Before Ashley would deploy, “I would do everything I could behind the scenes and just let her spend as much time with the kids as she could,” Greg Pruitt said.
Both men became emotional as they talked about getting their children through Mother’s Day, and now Memorial Day, without their moms. Oliver’s birthday just passed and Emilia just had her first ballet recital; Adeline’s birthday is soon, and Owen graduates from high school in a couple of weeks.
“It ain’t great,” Joey Amor said.
The Iran combat losses come amid a larger review by political leaders at the Pentagon to see if all military roles should remain open to women.
Ashley Pruitt “never let the noise bother her,” her husband said. “She did the work and better than most. She let her service and accomplishments do the talking.”
It was the same with Nicole, Joey Amor said.
“My wife,” he said, “had a sense of duty and honor to the soldiers standing next to her.”
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