Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Trump Tuesday
President Trump postponed “another big hit on Iran” planned for Tuesday.
“And have you noticed he always seems to back down on Tuesday?” Jimmy Kimmel said. “Every Tuesday. It’s like a new episode of ‘NCIS.’”
“He pulls out. I think it’s because he has more free time on the weekends to make threats, and then Monday comes and he’s, like, ‘Eh, I don’t want to deal, just cancel until next week.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Late yesterday, Trump announced that he was canceling a massive attack on Iran that was planned for today. So, like everyone else with plans on a Tuesday night, he just wasn’t feeling it and bailed.” — JIMMY FALLON
“I gotta say, these threats are getting less and less effective the more he keeps dragging them out. ‘You wanna step outside, bro? Oh, you do? Well, it’s kinda chilly out there, so I gotta grab my jacket from coat check. OK, looks like there’s a pretty long line, so it might be a while. And I don’t have singles for a tip, so let me just go to the bar. Do you want something while I’m in there? I’m buying! You can hang out with my girlfriend till I’m back. And then it is go time, bro time!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Meanwhile, according to a new poll, most voters think Trump made the wrong decision to go to war with Iran. Well, not me. Personally, I think it was a fantastic decision. One of the best in history, you know? Right up there with giving ‘Felicity’ a haircut; investing in Spirit Airlines; betting on Mike Tyson to beat Jake Paul; that ad where Kendall Jenner gives Pepsi to a police officer; ‘The Godfather: Part III’; ‘Toy Story: Part 4’; and, of course, licking the captain’s hand on that cruise ship last week.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (Ballroom Basement Roof Edition)
“Let me think about that for a second. How does a roof go down into the basement? I’m starting to get the idea Blob the Builder doesn’t know much about construction, either.” — JIMMY KIMMEL, referring to President Trump’s saying the White House ballroom will have “a roof that goes down into the basement”
“What do you mean the roof goes into the basement? What M.C. Escher [expletive] is this? People inside will be like, ‘Am I dancing on the floor or the ceiling?’ Both.’” — RONNY CHIENG
“Oh, really? That’s fascinating, Mr. President. You may not know this, sir, but there’s actually a special word for when the roof goes all the way down to the basement, and that word is ‘walls.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
The actor Brendan Fraser talked with Ronny Chieng about starring in the new film “Pressure” on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
Bruce Springsteen will appear on “The Late Show” for the fourth and final time on Wednesday.
Also, Check This Out
Season 51 of “Saturday Night Live” found new ways to satirize the Trump administration and said goodbye to one of its most valuable cast members.
The post Late Night Could Set a Clock by Trump’s Iran Attack Delays appeared first on New York Times.
