This list is from the spring 2026 issue of VICE magazine, THE NOT THE PHOTO ISSUE. Buy it now—or get 4 issues each year sent straight to your door, by subscribing.
The VICE mailbox is, unfortunately, open to all of you and your dreadful ideas. Around 1 in 6,000 pitches is worth reading to the end, so in an attempt to improve that ratio, here are some that we literally never want to see again.
- “Help—I’m being followed by helicopters!”
- “Hi, this is Lottie / Fifi / Felix from Fuckface Marketing. To mark Valentine’s Day / World Book Day / Black History Month, we have persuaded a financially compromised scientist to agree with our study that proves having an expensive bed pillow can lower divorce rates / stave off dementia / end racism”
- “I’ve found a new, clever way of saying ‘racism is actually good’”
- “Here is a gay person” [that’s it, that’s the entire pitch]
- A sex party with its own PR team
- A “rave” with Aesop soap in the toilets
- “I went to [literally any warm country] and took b+w photos of poor people”
- “I quit my phone for a week to learn about mental health”
- “Is masturbating actually bad?”
- “Look at these Ghanaian coffins”
And one for luck: Ugly Europeans are naked, for some reason
This list is from the spring 2026 issue of VICE magazine, THE NOT THE PHOTO ISSUE. Buy it now—or get 4 issues each year sent straight to your door, by subscribing.
The post 10 Story Pitches We Never Want to See Again appeared first on VICE.
