For Matt Damon, it’s been nearly eight years since his surprise appearance in a 2018 “Saturday Night Live” opening sketch where he gave a memorable (and petulant) impersonation of Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh, who was then in the midst of his confirmation hearings for the Supreme Court.
For Aziz Ansari, it’s been only one week since he popped up at the start of an “S.N.L.” broadcast to play the F.B.I. director, Kash Patel.
This week, both actors were back, reprising their roles in the cold open that kicked off this weekend’s episode, which was hosted by Damon and featured the musical guest Noah Kahan.
The sketch found Colin Jost, in his recurring role as the defense secretary, Pete Hegseth, at a Washington bar. After asking a bartender played by Kenan Thompson for his usual, a “reverse Irish car bomb” (a shot of beer with a pint of whiskey dropped into it), Jost said he was glad to have a getaway “where I’m not going to run into anyone from work, because none of Trump’s people like drinking as much as I do.”
“Wrong!” shouted Damon, entering the scene as Kavanaugh. He, too, had a standing drink order: “I find in favor of six Bud Lights and three shots of Jame-o,” he said. (“A 6-3 decision,” Thompson replied.)
The men greeted each other, and Jost asked if he had accidentally included Damon in a Signal chat, tipping him off to his location. “No,” Damon answered, “I just saw all the women covering their drinks.”
The two boasted about their accomplishments at work: “Dude, can you believe I just like started a war?” Jost said.
“Can you believe I ended abortion?” Damon replied. “Your body, my choice.” He added, “You knew I’d do it.”
Jost assured Damon that the war in Iran was “totally chill,” saying, “It’s like me at a DWI check point. It completely blew over.”
Damon, meanwhile, lamented what he said, in a breaking voice, was the real fight: “the war against male loneliness,” adding, “I just wish there were more people in this administration who could really hang.”
Ansari made his entrance here, shouting, “Does this bar take Kash?”
He showed off a bottle of his personalized bourbon, explaining, “Somehow this is a real thing that I, the F.B.I. director, have made. This is real.”
Ansari added that he brings his own liquor because he’s often mistaken for a child with a fake ID. “They say, ‘Oh, no adult would make this face in official photos,’” he said before flashing a wide-eyed stare at the cameras.
Damon said he had a secret to share with the group — that Trump would be allowed to “do a third term,” quelling any concerns that this would be unconstitutional.
“Trump found the original Constitution,” Damon said, “and at the end, he wrote ‘Psych!’ We’re gonna live forever!”
Then, for some reason, they all sang Chumbawamba’s “Tubthumping.”
Maternal instincts of the week
Alas, this week’s episode did not continue the longstanding Mother’s Day tradition of having the cast members pay in-person tributes to their moms during the host’s monologue. (As Damon explained, a segment was planned for this year “but then Spirit Airlines shut down.”)
But moms, you were not forgotten: Damon used part of his monologue to record a flirty, all-purpose greeting that could be given as a last-minute Mother’s Day gift. He also appeared as himself in a fake trailer for “Mom: the Movie,” a film designed to be perfectly calibrated for mothers. (By having no conflict or tension and being mostly about a mother’s three adult children happily moving back home to live with her.) Plus it has Ashley Padilla as the mother, which makes it worth staying awake for the 23-minute portion designed to keep mothers engaged before they dropped off to sleep and the movie disintegrated into plotless nonsense.
Weekend Update jokes of the week
Over at the Weekend Update desk, the anchors Jost and Michael Che continued to riff on recent events including the meeting between Secretary of State Marco Rubio and Pope Leo XIV, and the hantavirus outbreak on a cruise ship.
Jost began:
This week, Secretary of State Marco [Che stepped on his line, calling out: “Rubio!” like a child playing Marco Polo.] traveled to Italy to meet with Pope Leo, in an attempt to repair the U.S. relationship with the Vatican, after the Pope requested “anyone but JD Vance.” During their meeting, Marco [“Rubio!,” Che called out again.] also presented the Pope with the gift of an egg-shaped crystal, which he bought on his favorite religious website, Adamandeve.com [His screen showed a graphic making clear that this is a site that sells adult toys.]
Che continued:
The Pentagon on Friday released never-before-seen files on U.F.O.s. But don’t worry, the most dangerous flying objects have already been eliminated. [His screen showed a picture of a Spirit Airlines plane.] The Supreme Court temporarily restored mail-order access to abortion pills, citing prom season.
Jost resumed:
World health authorities are tracking down dozens of passengers who left a cruise ship where there was a deadly outbreak of the hantavirus, which is typically caused by exposure to rodent droppings. Damn it, that better not be you, Mickey. [His screen showed a picture of a Mickey Mouse-costumed character on the deck of a ship.] Officials around the world are tracking passengers potentially infected with the virus, which sounds scary, but let the president calm your fears. [He showed recent video of President Trump saying, “It’s very much, we hope, under control.”] Oh my God, that’s such great news. But why does that sound familiar? [He showed a 2020 video of President Trump talking about the Covid virus, saying, “We have it under control. It’s going to be just fine.”] And it was. So: [Jost gave two thumbs up to the camera.]
Weekend Update guests of the week
Weekend Update has run hot and cold with its desk-side segments this season, but this particular episode contained an embarrassment of riches: Jeremy Culhane brought back his Tucker Carlson impersonation to give conspiratorial comments on the Met Gala, the state of Maine and the HBO series “Euphoria”) (“No,” he said, “I’m not talking about the feeling I get when I press 1 for English.”). Jane Wickline sang a song about being young and proudly having the right to be late for things. And Mikey Day and Marcello Hernández played two kamikaze dolphins, with explosives strapped to their chests, who may or may not be deployed against Iranian battleships by the U.S. government. “You guys can sink any type of boat?” a fascinated Jost asked them. “Like, let’s say, a ferry that’s a huge financial drain on its owners?”
Happy Mother’s Day!
Dave Itzkoff is a former Times culture reporter.
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