Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Behind Locked Doors
Kash Patel is suing The Atlantic for its article, “The FBI Director Is MIA.” It alleges concerning behavior by “our soon-to-be former F.B.I. director,” as Jimmy Kimmel called him on Monday.
The article, citing more than two dozen anonymous sources, claimed that excessing drinking and unexplained absences were putting Patel’s job in jeopardy. The Atlantic said his aides once requested “breaching equipment” typically used by SWAT and hostage-rescue teams when they couldn’t reach him. (Patel and the White House have denied the claims.)
“They made those requests last year because Patel was unreachable behind locked doors,” Kimmel said.
“You know you have a problem when SEAL Team Six shows up to do a wellness check.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Man, oh, man. We all thought Pete Hegseth was the Trump poster boy for drinking too much. All of a sudden, Kash is like, ‘Hold my beer — and my martini while you’re at it.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Wow, breaching equipment? I’ve been drunk, but I’ve never been battering ram drunk. I’ve never — I’ve never been so hung over I needed my alarm clock to be the Jaws of Life.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Which do you think will last longer? Kash Patel as head of the F.B.I. or the bananas I bought at Trader Joe’s yesterday?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Strait of Hormuz Edition)
“Shutting down the strait of Hormuz? Well, cry me a Horiver.” — JON STEWART
“Our whole lives, the Strait of Hormuz has been so wide open, we didn’t even know it existed. We put Trump in charge and in eight weeks, it’s been blocked more times than Melania’s bedroom door.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“But the truth is, we only fought this war to get Iran to open the Strait of Hormuz, that they closed when we started this war.” — JON STEWART
“And yes, it was already open before we started the war, but I believe the real Strait of Hormuz was the friends we made along the way. I’m sorry, what’s that? And I’m being told we made no friends.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“And still, with all of this happening, Trump says the war in Iran is ‘going along swimmingly.’ Yeah, they’re swimming because no one can move their boats anymore.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Monday’s “Tonight Show” musical guest, Thundercat, performed “Walking on the Moon” from his new album, “Distracted.”
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
The “Kevin” star Aubrey Plaza will appear on Tuesday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”
Also, Check This Out
The 2026 Met Gala’s theme is “Costume Art,” celebrating the Costume Institute’s spring show as well as its new home at the Condé M. Nast Galleries.
The post Jimmy Kimmel Refers to Kash Patel’s Job in the Past Tense appeared first on New York Times.
