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The President vs. the Pope
President Trump issued a long social media post about Pope Leo XIV on Sunday, referring to the leader of the Catholic Church as “weak on crime,” among other things.
“He insulted the pope on a Sunday,” Jimmy Kimmel said during his Monday monologue.
“We have a fight between the president and the pope. The world has become a real-life episode of ‘South Park.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Last night, he posted ‘Pope Leo is weak on crime.’ Yeah, man, he’s the pope. He visits people in jail, though it would be cool, though, if the pope did fight crime. Then we could watch ‘Murder, She Pope.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“What does the pope have to do with crime? He’s not Batman, he’s the pope. This is what happens when you sell Bibles instead of reading them.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I am really starting to sour on this president. What is going through Trump’s mind? ‘What did the pope say? He wants what? Dialogue? Peace? He wants to choose the noblest aspirations of mankind, to show humanity at its greatest articulation? [Beep] that loser! That guy is a loser! [Beep] that guy. Who died and made him — oh, I’m sorry? That is who died? OK. And there was a vote? White smoke?” — JON STEWART
“According to one Italian religious historian, not even Hitler or Mussolini attacked the Pope so directly and publicly. It’s never great when someone says, ‘You should really be more discreet and respectful. You know, like Hitler.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“And look, President Trump, I know the Vatican has been critical of your policies, but you got to remember that at the end of the day, you and the Catholic Church both, both historically care deeply about the same thing: covering up sex scandals.” — JON STEWART
The Punchiest Punchlines (Dr. Jesus Medicine Christ Edition)
“He didn’t stop there because, just 40 minutes later he posted this A.I. image depicting himself as Jesus presumably trying to heal Jon Stewart.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“I know I don’t have the vigor and spunk of my MTV days, but I didn’t know we were here already. I didn’t realize my look had reached leper territory. I mean, from the picture, it looks like it was touch-and-go with me for a while. But thank God, in my time of need, I was surrounded by family.” — JON STEWART
“So, Donald Trump wants us to believe that he thought this was a doctor. If I’m in a doctor’s office and that man walks in, I’m thinking I’d die.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Trump saying he was depicted as a doctor, not Jesus Christ
“That’s quite an excuse. [imitating Trump] ‘It was clearly me as a doctor, like in my favorite movie ‘Passion of the Doctor’ and my favorite T.V. show ‘Dr. Jesus Medicine Christ.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“God, do you even care about lying to us anymore? Is it over? Is this relationship gone stale? Your lies used to have a real spark: ‘[imitating Trump] They’re eating the cats and dogs, Venezuela stole the 2020 election,’ and now the best you’ve got is, ‘Eh, no, it wasn’t Jesus; I’m a doctor!’ You need to find your happy place, and fast. We expect better lies, sir.” — JON STEWART
The Bits Worth Watching
Laura Benanti returned to “The Late Show” on Monday to send up the recent White House address by the first lady, Melania Trump.
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
Bao Nguyen will discuss directing the new Netflix documentary “BTS: The Return” on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”
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The post Late Night Takes Sides in the President vs. the Pope appeared first on New York Times.
