Valentine’s Day still shows up on the calendar every February, but for a growing number of people, it no longer means obligatory showmanship. According to a new survey, one in five Americans in relationships plan to sit the holiday out entirely. No dinner reservations. No gifts. Just a normal ass day.
That choice shows a broader change in how people approach romance under economic pressure. CouponFollow’s survey, which polled more than 1,000 partnered Americans, found that people plan to spend an average of $87 on their partner while expecting only $63 in return. That difference points to a familiar imbalance for anyone who has felt responsible for making a holiday feel successful. Men, in particular, still shoulder most of the spending, planning to spend 23 percent more than women on average, and are far more likely to cover the entire cost of the day.
Sadly, money has become impossible to separate from meaning. Eighty-three percent of respondents said they’d prefer their partner save money rather than spend generously on Valentine’s Day. Money now sits front and center in how couples think about romance. Modesty comes across as thoughtfulness. Excess asks for a side-eye. The survey places the tipping point around $273, with younger people allowing more room and older generations pulling back sooner.
What people want instead of stuff is time. Experiences dominate the wish list. Romantic dinners and shared outings like concerts or trips outrank physical gifts by a landslide. People are more interested in sharing time than staging moments. This goes for Valentine’s Day too, with most couples planning it together instead of betting on surprises. Handwritten cards are still sweet, especially with women and younger respondents, while big, showy gestures draw less enthusiasm.
Skipping Valentine’s Day fits neatly into this recalibration. For some couples, it’s a practical decision shaped by rising costs and tighter wallets. For others, it’s a way to sidestep expectations that feel stale or performative. The absence of plans doesn’t signal disengagement so much as selectivity. Not every relationship wants a mandated moment drenched in capitalism.
People are over the “Hallmark” version of Valentine’s Day and want something more real. Make dinner together or go do that thing you always wanted to do. And f**k it, do it on February 13th.
The post Why Are 20% of Americans Skipping Valentine’s Day This Year? appeared first on VICE.
