Reading 38 million obituaries sounds depressing as hell. But researchers did exactly that in search of a bigger question: what people really care about once the career titles, social media bios, and personal brand nonsense are gone.
In a study published in the PNAS, scientists analyzed obituaries posted on Legacy.com between 1998 and 2024, examining how families described the lives of 38 million Americans. Instead of focusing on causes of death, they focused on language. The words people choose when they’re trying to compress an entire life into a few paragraphs.
Across nearly three decades of memorials, the same values kept showing up. Tradition and benevolence dominated. Faith, service, loyalty, caring for others, and family. Those themes appeared in more than 70 percent of the obituaries analyzed. Mentions tied to achievement, power, or status showed up far less often. Whatever people chase hardest while they’re alive doesn’t seem to matter as much once someone else is telling the story.
Scientists Analyzed 38 Million American Obituaries. The Results Say a Lot About Us.
Large-scale events still left fingerprints. After September 11, 2001, families used more language tied to service, loyalty, and tradition, particularly in New York. References connected to safety and stability appeared less often. The change in language lasted longer than the moment itself.
COVID changed the language more than anything else in the dataset. Beginning in March 2020, benevolence-related language, words like “love,” “family,” and “sympathy,” fell and never returned to earlier levels. Mentions of tradition dipped at first, then climbed as the pandemic stretched on. When loss became constant, the idea of a good life started to sound different.
The differences across gender and age were familiar, if uncomfortable. Men were more often remembered for achievement and authority, while women were described through care for others and enjoyment of life. Older adults were framed around tradition, while younger people were more likely to be remembered for independence and concern for others and the environment. Over time, men’s obituaries changed more noticeably, while women’s stayed relatively steady.
Obituaries don’t care about hustle culture. They don’t care about LinkedIn milestones or inbox zero. They’re written by people who had to decide, under pressure, what deserved permanent record. Across 38 million of them, the answer stays stubbornly boring in the best way. Be decent. Be present. Leave people better than you found them.
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