Marriages among the ultra-Orthodox sometimes happen between complete strangers. For some, entering the “intimacy room” with their new spouse is the first time either has been alone with a member of the opposite sex, aside from immediate family members.
A bride and groom can experience profound awkwardness — and far worse — in their initial physical union. Though not every first night spent together is traumatic, similar questions loom over every ultra-Orthodox wedding: When the band quiets down, the guests leave and the bride and groom go home together, what will happen between them? Will it be good? Will it be welcome?
I set out to interview members of my community to explore those questions in the short film above, “The First Night.” I hope my work opens up a space within the ultra-Orthodox community to talk about the range of emotions — excitement, anxiety, fear, terror — that couples experience on what is supposed to be among the happiest days of their lives.
Rachel Elitzur is an ultra-Orthodox Jewish filmmaker based in Israel. The short film above is adapted from her feature-length documentary “Wedding Night.”
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