Speaker Johnson here. You may have noticed that I’ve been taking a step back from the news cycle lately. Not in the sense that I’m not in it, every day—appearing on television, praising Donald Trump, and taking questions from the media. I am. But you’ve probably noticed that I know nothing about anything that’s happening. This is deliberate. It is a form of self-care. I have started tuning out for my own mental health. There is only so much negativity you can absorb before you have to take a deep breath and ask yourself, Do I really need to spend all day doomscrolling? Where is my joy?
You may ask, As speaker of the House, can you really do that? Yes. If there is one thing I’ve taken from the Trump presidency, it is that you can just do things and nobody will stop you. Certainly not the other branches of government.
This is a PSA: If you ask me, Have you seen this news story? Have you seen that news story?, the answer is no. I have not seen it. And that’s just what I need to do right now, and it’s okay. I am also shutting down the House to lower the stress in my personal life. What about the impact this has on others? What a stressful question! I am putting myself first. I advise anyone else with the ability to simply decide not to do your job, to do so. Everyone else, please continue to work for the federal government without pay. To those of you who typically get SNAP benefits: Try calming, deep breaths instead.
It’s been so freeing to step back from the constant, 24/7 cycle of downers. Whenever I hear about the news, which I do almost daily when taking questions from the media, it sounds pretty bad. The president asking for $230 million from the Department of Justice? Reports of ICE detaining U.S. citizens, including children? Threats on Hakeem Jeffries’s life by one of the pardoned January 6 insurrectionists? A jet, for the president, from Qatar? President Trump’s alarming, rambling speech to the generals at Quantico? A bailout for Argentina? Trump’s note to Jeffrey Epstein? A pardon for Changpeng Zhao, former CEO of Binance—whom Trump says he knows nothing about? Yikes, yikes, yikes! I’m so glad I made the choice not to follow the news anymore. I am a gray rock. I am a floating cloud. I am a happy little tree. The other week, I spent a whole day in a sensory-deprivation chamber. It was awesome! By the time I emerged, I felt like I almost had a great idea for a health-care plan. Almost.
Since I stopped paying attention to the news, I’m so much more relaxed. My shoulders are no longer hunched up to my chin. My jaw is no longer clenched. I sometimes put my phone down for hours to take a pleasant stroll and listen to the song of a linnet. Or a finch! Or a cardinal! I’ve gotten really into birdsong lately. There’s one bird that sounds just like a human woman screaming, “YOU HAVEN’T SWORN ME IN YET! IT HAS BEEN WEEKS! THE PEOPLE OF ARIZONA DESERVE BETTER!” and I’m really trying to identify what bird that is. Maybe a hoopoe?
If there’s suffering in the world—say, because Congress failed to pass a budget and the government is shut down—that isn’t my problem. Yes, families are going hungry. What is the speaker of the House supposed to do about it? Shh, don’t yell a detailed, specific answer with the words continuing resolution in it. I don’t need that right now. Sure, I’m the speaker of the House. But who am I when I’m not doing that? Don’t I owe it to myself to find out? Casting votes and setting policy is stressful! There’s a reason Donald Trump keeps promising to relieve us of these burdens, and all the angst they bring. And with my abundant free time, I’ve been catching up on all of television. All but the news parts. Television is great!
People keep yelling at me, saying things like No! and Don’t do that! and You are one of arguably three people in the United States who does not have the luxury of unplugging from the news cycle, sorry! And to them I say, “You have to put on your own oxygen mask first. And then hit your own eject button. And then let the world burn.”
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