There was a time when having a boyfriend felt like an achievement. His name went in your bio, your camera roll filled with soft-launch photos, and his face became an unofficial extension of yourself. But lately, there’s been a shift. Women are admitting that being publicly “taken” doesn’t feel as flattering as it once did. It feels, well, kind of embarrassing.
The idea took off after writer Chanté Joseph published a piece in British Vogue about women posting their partners less than ever before. She noted that we’ve gone from an era of carousels filled with romantic photos to a time when a boyfriend’s elbow might briefly appear in a 24-hour story before disappearing. “It feels like the result of women wanting to straddle two worlds,” she wrote, “one where they can receive the social benefits of having a partner, but also not appear so boyfriend-obsessed that they come across as quite culturally loserish.”
That sentiment hit a nerve. Online, women responded with humor and relief. TikTok creator Ruby Hall danced to Taylor Swift’s “The Fate of Ophelia” with the caption “Apparently it’s chic to be single now.” Another, Lydia, thanked British Vogue “for making all the girlies that have been single their entire lives feel very powerful right now.” Others posted clips set to “The Winner Takes It All,” calling themselves pioneers for staying solo.
Your Girlfriend Thinks You’re Embarrassing. Here’s Why.
Dating expert Sera Bozza told news.com.au that this isn’t about hating men. It’s about rejecting dependency. “Having a boyfriend wasn’t embarrassing, but being dependent on a relationship for your identity was,” she said. For decades, being someone’s girlfriend was treated like a personality.
Now, online identities have moved in the opposite direction, with women declaring independence as a point of pride. Bozza calls the healthiest balance one where a woman feels secure either way. “The real flex isn’t being single or taken. It’s being secure either way,” she said.
Still, there’s another layer to it. Bozza pointed out that women are often mocked for being too happy or too in love online. “The internet loves a collective villain, and lately that villain is the woman who’s too partnered, too content,” she said. “We act like love is cringe, but what’s actually cringe is pretending we’re above wanting it.”
Having a boyfriend isn’t embarrassing. Letting the internet narrate your relationship is. Real intimacy survives better without a comment section.
The post Why Women Say Having a Boyfriend Is Embarrassing appeared first on VICE.
