The holidays are typically a time to gather with loved ones and secure a +1 for all the festivies. Many relationships deepen during the late autumn/early winter months, as the weather cools and cheer fills the air. However, this time of the year can also reveal cracks in your foundation—from insecurity to infidelity.
“The holidays amplify everything in a relationship: the good, the bad, and the secretive,” says Jenna Brightwell, a sex expert at Monsta Toys, a fantasy adult toy brand. “While most couples are dealing with normal holiday stress, serial cheaters are juggling multiple relationships, and that’s when their behavior starts showing cracks.”
As we move into the holiday season, it’s important to know the signs of a potentially disloyal partner—so you’re not “cuffed” to the wrong partner. Brightwell outlined six red flags of a serial cheater.
1. They’re buying two of the same gift
Unfortunately, cheaters will go as far as buying the same gift for their affair partners as they do for their committed partners. If you’re early on in a relationship, it’s unlikely you’d have access to your partner’s credit card statements—nor should you ever need to go snooping.
However, if you notice receipts lying around revealing dual gift purchases, it’s time to ask questions.
“It’s not uncommon for cheaters to buy the same perfume, jewelry, or even clothing in different sizes,” says Brightwell. “They’re trying to keep things simple, but it’s a major red flag when you notice duplicate charges on credit card statements or find receipts for items you never received.”
2. They’re Consistently Caught Up With ‘Last-Minute Shopping’
Is your partner disappearing for hours on end, claiming they’re “Christmas shopping” yet coming home with seemingly nothing? According to Brightwell, this excuse could just be a cover for time spent elsewhere.
“Christmas shopping is the perfect excuse because it’s expected and time-consuming,” Brightwell notes. “But if your partner is gone for four hours and returns with one small bag, or if they’re making multiple trips when they could have ordered everything online, that’s worth questioning.”
3. They’re constantly attending ‘Family Obligations’ and Work Parties Without You
Some cheaters will take advantage of busy seasons by quoting countless obligations, only to slip away for time with their other lover.
Now, you obviously don’t want to go around doubting your partner every time they’re not with you. However, if it’s become a pattern, don’t ignore your gut feeling.
“Watch for events that you’re mysteriously excluded from or that seem to have constantly changing details,” advises Brightwell. “If your partner can’t give you straight answers about where they’re going, who will be there, or why you can’t join them, something’s off.”
4. They’re suddenly showering you With Extravagant Gifts
Beware of the lovebomber who showers you with gifts at random, especially if it follows a period of absence. Again, I don’t want to feed paranoia, but you’ll know when something feels off.
“There’s a difference between a genuine gesture and guilt-driven compensation,” Brightwell explains. “When someone is cheating, they may buy lavish gifts they can’t really afford or suddenly become overly attentive in ways that feel performative rather than authentic.”
5. They’re more Secretive with their phone
We all deserve our privacy in relationships, but if your partner is purposefully hiding their screen or flipping over their phone when you’re around, they might be hiding something.
“Holiday downtime means cheaters have to work harder to hide their communications,” says Brightwell. “You might notice them texting more frequently, stepping outside for calls, or being unusually possessive of their devices during what should be relaxed family time.”
6. They’re Becoming Overly Defensive
Defensiveness often stems from fear—and in some cases, it’s the fear of being caught. Becoming defensive in response to simple, non-interrogative questions is a clear sign that a person is hiding something.
“When someone is juggling lies, even innocent questions feel threatening,” Brightwell points out. “They may accuse you of being controlling or paranoid because they’re projecting their own guilt onto your reasonable concerns.”
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