Back in September 2024, I wrote about a team of Japanese researchers who were using their brilliance to answer the most pressing question of the modern age: Can we breathe through our butts?
While I don’t believe there is such a thing as bad scientific research that isn’t worth investing in, this one did sound much dumber than most, so much so that it won the Ig Nobel Prize in physiology.
Luckily, my personal belief that legitimate scientific researchers should study darn near every topic because even the silliest research might lead to a genuine scientific breakthrough might prove true.
According to a new study published in the journal Med, that same team of Japanese researchers has completed the world’s first human trial testing the safety of delivering oxygen through your bum in a process they politely called “enteral ventilation.”
Animals like turtles, pigs, and certain fish already use their butts to absorb oxygen when things get dire. All the researchers are doing here is asking a fair and straightforward question: why not us?
How Butt Breathing Could Be a Life Saver for People With Lung Disease
The intestinal walls of these animals act as an emergency respiratory system, pulling oxygen directly into the bloodstream. The researchers at Osaka University, led by biomedical scientist Takanori Takebe, wanted to know whether humans could do the same.
This would potentially give doctors a way to keep people alive when traditional breathing methods fail.
The trial wasn’t about proving the technique works yet, just that it’s safe. Twenty-seven healthy male volunteers were asked to hold between 25 and 1,500 milliliters of a special perfluorocarbon liquid (without oxygen, for now) inside their rectums for an hour.
No serious side effects were reported, though participants with higher volumes felt bloating and discomfort, which, as someone with stomach and intestinal issues, I sympathize entirely with, even though I rarely hold 25 to 1,500 milliliters of a special perfluorocarbon liquid inside of my a**.
Only 7 participants couldn’t make it to the full 60 minutes. Not bad.
The results are promising. Vital signs remained stable, and no one suffered any lasting issues. The next step is to test how well oxygen transfers from the butt to the bloodstream. That’s when the liquid pumped up there will be oxygenated, and researchers will see if patients’ blood oxygen levels rise without using their lungs at all.
It should be interesting to read about how they test that out, to say the least.
This equal parts absurd and incredible research could one day become a life-saving option for people whose lungs are failing. Who knew something so profound, so life-giving, could be found up your butt?
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