My dad worked until he died, and I swore I’d do things differently. Now, at 71, I realize it’s important to stay busy.

• My dad worked his entire life and set an example for me to never slow down.
• I ignored his advice and retired, anticipating a life of leisure — rehearsing music and writing.
• But I learned I needed a routine and regular accomplishments to feel fulfilled.

My dad lived 78 years and worked until he died.

I wanted him to retire and relax — to hunt, care for his spaniels, and nap — but he had built his own print shop and wanted it to outlast him, so he went to the office every day. Even when he could no longer drive, my mother chauffeured him.

At the time, I didn’t get it. Why not slow down and enjoy his final years?

Over a decade after he passed, I retired from teaching and swore I’d take a different path — planning a long, leisurely vacation from responsibility. However, things turned out differently than I originally planned.

Without structure, I struggled to get anything done

When I pictured retirement, I imagined practicing piano, writing, rehearsing with my music group, and visiting family. At first, I loved the freedom — no appointments, alarms, or deadlines — but soon, the hours felt aimless.

Every day seemed like a good day to procrastinate. I’d play piano for a few minutes, but never learned an entire piece. Or, I’d type a few sentences and attend music rehearsals, but I’d never finish an essay or schedule a performance.

With too much free time, nothing got done, and I felt like a boat unmoored from its dock, drifting wherever the current pulled it.

I missed the gratification of ticking off a task, as well as the camaraderie of students and fellow teachers working together on a project.

I discovered I needed a routine

I realized my free time needed structure, so I started scheduling my days: writing for two hours, then practicing piano before lifting weights and walking.

With each new commitment came new friends. I approached a trumpeter and clarinetist who live in my neighborhood (musicians I’d only waved to before), and we formed an ensemble. Now, we practice twice a week.

I also meet new musicians every Tuesday at a pub’s Irish music session, and fresh faces offer fresh ideas in monthly writing workshops.

For the first time since retiring, I sensed momentum. A piece of mine was published in a magazine, my trumpeter friend threw a house party where we performed our sonata, and my music group mastered a set, so we played for the breakfast crowd at a local café. Once again, I felt the satisfaction of accomplishment.

With my packed schedule, I realized why my dad went to work every day. He needed to be busy, to interact with colleagues, and find fulfillment in a job well done. Work gave him a routine and a reason to get up every day.

In that way, I’ve found I’m a lot like him. I feel satisfaction in being productive, fulfilled when I interact with people, and grounded when my days follow a rhythm.

Now, I’ve found balance between enjoying the freedom of retirement and still feeling productive

Although I’m continuing to follow my routine, I’m comfortable with it being subject to change because I still want to enjoy the freedom of retirement — something I recognize not all of my contemporaries have access to amid vanishing pensions, high medical costs, and rising life expectancies.

For me, such freedom can look like skipping piano practice to have lunch with a friend or postponing exercise to take a nap. And when I’m traveling, I abandon my routine entirely.

My retirement is not what I imagined, but I’ve found a life that suits me. Not everyone’s choices are the same, and that’s the best part of retirement — it’s self-directed.

And now I understand: It’s not about never quitting. It’s about choosing what’s worth doing next.

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