I recently tried to make a million pounds in 90 days, as part of a new documentary for Channel 4. The project came as a response to our generational obsession with get-rich-quick schemes and hustle culture. Having videos about this subject beamed into my face 25 hours a day had given me questions not only about where the movement stems from, but also whether changing my priorities and learning to ‘think money’ would actually lead me to financial security. What would I learn if I was to give up my life temporarily, and relentlessly pursue wealth? Would I get rich? What lessons would I take forth from the experience?
Here’s some wisdom I learned burning myself out trying to make a million pounds in 90 days.
‘Old Money’ Is Fringe In The U.S.
As part of this experiment, I moved from London to New York. Once I was embedded in venture capitalist, investor, and private equity circles, I fast realized how passé old money is in the U.S.—unlike in the UK, the money men really aren’t impressed by it.
What I found chasing money in the U.S. is a culture unperturbed by the nouveau riche. For example, I followed a money man into the bowels of a $25,000-a-night hotel room, and the carpets were eerily similar to those in the National Exhibition Centre in Birmingham, a place that according to its listings site is next due to host “the UK’s dedicated roads and highways trade show.” Their version of ‘old money’ is this Mayflower-stemming East Coast thing that is more bizarre and suspicious, stuffed into decaying members’ clubs in Midtown. They do not respect legacy or class. What this means is that conversations around it are less wrapped up in identity. It is much more open but also much more grotesque, which leads me to…
If You Don’t Ask, You Don’t Get
One of the most mortifying experiences of my life was, as part of a still-unreleased project from a few years ago, asking friends for not insignificant lumps of cash towards a scheme. If I remember being at those coffee tables, on those sofas, or at those bars, I feel like taking a full bite out of my bottom lip. At the end of this journey, however, I can safely say that I no longer have the same issue. My first strategy for making a million was simply to get in the room with very wealthy people and flat-out ask them for it. I had a certain level of delusion that, if I could simply look the billionaire in the eye and shake their hand, I could reason with them and convince them I was worth their money. I did this with multi-billionaire Jim McKelvey, who was perfectly lovely, but did essentially laugh in my face. I needed to be taken seriously…
You Can Buy An Article About Yourself In Forbes
I needed to change the terms of my pitch for hedge funds or wealthy individuals to buy a piece of my company, which I had decided to name Drops. The idea behind it was a company that does controversial stunts and sells limited edition items off the back of them. Something similar to Supreme flogging house bricks emblazoned with their logo or MSCHF selling out 666 pairs of “Satan Shoes,” each containing a drop of artist Lil Nas X’s blood, for $1,000.
The problem was that, when I was talking with these folks, they would invariably google me and find evidence of my back catalog, containing gems like “How I Made TripAdvisor’s #1 Fake Restaurant” or “I Pushed ‘All You Can Eat’ Restaurants to Their Absolute Limits.” So what I found out you can do is to contact a third-party agency and pay for an article about yourself in Forbes. I managed to do this with the following article: ‘How One Entrepreneur Turned Viral Success Into a Global Empire.’ As you can see, it references my global empire and my intention to open clothing outlets all over the world. All total horseshit. But from here on in, I could quote “As seen in Forbes” on my website. I officially had Money Man credibility.
Selling Educational Classes is A Racket
When I was younger in the 1990s, my parents got dragged into an infamous pyramid scheme by a charming man selling them the idea of financial security. They were desperate, and they went for it. And seemingly, today, this hasn’t changed. One of the sure fire strategies to money making in the hustle-culture sphere that you’ll find is to sell classes teaching an audience to become successful themselves. People like Luke Belmar or Tai Lopez brag about how much money there is to be made in this. So I thought I’d try it. I wrote a 3-hour educational class called “Million Dollar Ideas” where I attempted to teach the viewer how to get rich through the method of ideas. My collaborator Tristan Cross built a platform to sell the class for £100 a pop. My other collaborator Dan Lucchesi edited the class together. We released a trailer that showed me tricking an art collector into buying a stick for £500. After releasing this clip, 2 million people watched. I was convinced I would be rich.
In the first 24 hours after release, we sold one single class.
Always Claim A Win
Throughout the process of making the film and trying to become a millionaire in 90 days, I failed a lot. The fashion brand we made named Ethical Sweatshop made £10,000 from sales, despite being covered by GQ, but this was nowhere near enough in this specific context. I did some work for a crypto company to shill their meme coin, and that fell apart. Finally, my educational class was a quiet humiliation. Yet there was something I noticed spending time with my fellow money men that I felt was quite unique. It didn’t matter how humiliating or objectively bad the business failures they endured were, they would claim it as a win. It was always fantastic. There was always room to pivot. So, prepping for my final roll of the dice – auctioning off 10% of my lifetime earnings to a room filled with money people – I decided to take a leaf from their book. To sell all my endeavours as raging successes. And this strategy eventually led to a piece of paper which would make me a millionaire.
How I Made A Million In 90 Days airs October 16th on Channel 4 at 10PM.
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