In a new memoir, Kevin Federline, the dancer, D.J. and ex-husband of Britney Spears, provides his perspective on their strained relationship, and says he is concerned that the decision four years ago to release the pop star from her conservatorship may have been ill-advised.
In “You Thought You Knew,” due Oct. 21, Federline, 47, charts his path from teenage knucklehead growing up in Fresno, Calif., to husband and father of two children with the singer.
He and Spears finalized their divorce in 2007 after three years of marriage and then began a prolonged, messy custody battle that ended in 2008. In his book, Federline recounts his version of that dispute and talks of Spears’s use of drugs and alcohol and angry outbursts during the late stages of their marriage.
In the 18 years since their split, Federline has observed his ex-wife largely from a distance as the pair co-parented. “We haven’t spoken in years,” Federline told The New York Times in an interview. But he writes about becoming increasingly concerned with what he describes as Spears’s erratic behavior, which he learned about mostly secondhand from their two sons, Sean Preston, now 20, and Jayden James, 19.
In one chapter, he recounts the time when the boys, as teenagers, declared that they did not want to go back to their mother’s house for several reasons, including fear.
“They would awaken sometimes at night to find her standing silently in the doorway, watching them sleep — ‘Oh, you’re awake?’ — with a knife in her hand,” he writes. “Then she’d turn around and pad off without explanation.”
In the penultimate chapter of the book, Federline fully expresses his concern.
“The truth is, this situation with Britney feels like it’s racing toward something irreversible,” he writes.
“It’s become impossible to pretend everything’s OK,” he adds. “From where I sit, the clock is ticking, and we’re getting close to the 11th hour. Something bad is going to happen if things don’t change, and my biggest fear is that our sons will be left holding the pieces.”
A spokesman for Spears declined to comment on Monday. In her memoir, which is being turned into a film, Spears disputes that she ever had significant substance abuse issues and characterizes her custody battle with Federline as traumatizing. She writes that Federline had not let her see her sons for weeks on end and “tried to convince everyone that I was completely out of control” as part of his bid for full custody years ago.
Federline, who has also dabbled in reality TV, said he had not discussed the contents of the memoir with Spears.
“I’ve never, ever, once, been against Britney,” Federline said in the interview. “I’ve only tried to help my sons have an incredible relationship with their mother. And it’s hard because when I really reflect on everything that’s happened — my kids do not know the woman that I married. And I’ve spent two decades trying to bridge that gap.”
Spears has expressed interest in repairing her relationship with her sons and several times within the last year, she has published posts on social media marking their time together.
Spears rose to the pinnacle of pop stardom, then was placed in a conservatorship that oversaw her finances and personal affairs in 2008 after her mental health struggles spilled into public view.
In the book, Federline discusses the evening when Spears was whisked away to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and placed under a 72-hour involuntary psychiatric hold following a three-hour standoff involving their children.
“It was one of the hardest nights of my life,” Federline writes. “I felt sick over what she was going through. This was someone I had loved. Someone I had built a life with. The mother of my children.”
A Los Angeles judge terminated that conservatorship in 2021 after finding that it was “no longer required.”
Federline says in his book that the so-called “Free Britney movement” — the push by fans and supporters to have the conservatorship terminated — may have “started from a good place,” but he writes it vilified people around Spears so intensely that now professionals with the ability to help his ex-wife may be too afraid to step in.
“All those people who put so much effort into that,” he writes, “should now put the same energy into the ‘Save Britney’ movement. Because this is no longer about freedom. It’s about survival.”
In recent months Spears has again drawn the attention of the tabloids — and reportedly raised the concern of some in her circle — with posts on social media that include a video of her dancing in a mansion that appeared to have dog excrement on the floor and with a bandaged knee, writing on Instagram that “it snaps out now and then, not sure if it’s broken.”
Though Federline, in his book, concedes he does not know the perfect “solution” moving forward, he asks that anyone “who has ever been moved by Britney” stand by his children and their mother.
“Now, more than ever, they need your support,” he writes. “I’ve been their buffer for years, but now it’s bigger than me. It’s time to sound the alarm.”
Julia Jacobs contributed reporting from New York.
Matt Stevens is a Times reporter who writes about arts and culture from Los Angeles.
The post In a New Memoir, Kevin Federline Sounds an Alarm on Britney Spears appeared first on New York Times.
