Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker reported live from “war torn” Chicago to roast Donald Trump’s “hellscape” claims.
“People are being forced to eat hot dogs with ketchup on them,” Pritzker joked in a video Jimmy Kimmel played during his monologue Thursday night. “As you can see, there’s utter mayhem and chaos on the ground. It’s quite disturbing. The Milwaukee Brewers have come in to attack our Chicago Cubs,” he also quipped.
Trump and his Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem have been trying to justify sending the National Guard into Illinois as his administration wages war against the country’s Democratic strongholds.
Pritzker revealed last week, “The Trump Administration’s Department of War gave me an ultimatum: call up your troops, or we will. It is absolutely outrageous and un-American to demand a Governor send military troops within our own borders and against our will.”
Still, Trump and his officials have insisted the intervention is necessary because Chicago is “the most dangerous city in the world,” despite the city’s reportedly declining violent crime rate. Kimmel joked Thursday that Trump operates his Department of War “as if he’s getting his intelligence briefings from reruns of The Walking Dead.”
Claims about dangerous blue states only appeared more incongruous as videos emerged out of Portland showing protestors dancing in inflatable animal costumes as agents stand guard.
Along with Pritzker, Kimmel urged viewers from Trump’s targeted “hellhole” cities to submit videos to the show, revealing the so-called “carnage” going on on the ground. Most of it amounted to “anemic baristas,” changing breakfast menus, and “very dangerous drum circles.”
As Pritzker joined in, he sarcastically warned about the “mayhem” that ensued in Chicago when “our deep dish pizza went shallow.”
“It’s a challenge to survive here in the city of Chicago, but there’s no hellscape that I’d rather be in,” Pritzker concluded.
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