Jacob Chansley, better known as the shirtless, bison-horned “QAnon Shaman” from the Capitol cosplay riot on Jan. 6, 2021, is, unfortunately, back in the news. This time, he’s filed a lawsuit that either definitively proves that he and everyone involved in the riots were not of sound mind or that he is just another performatively crazy crank trying to hop on the right-wing grifter gravy train.
According to the Phoenix New Times, filed in Maricopa County, his 26-page, single-paragraph legal complaint names everyone from Donald Trump and Elon Musk’s X Corp to the NSA, Israel, and Warner Bros. Studios as co-conspirators in a vast conspiracy that was set on trampling his constitutional rights. For this extremely vague infraction, he is seeking damages of upwards of $40 trillion. Trillion.
Not that this is any way rooted in reality and will ever happen, but let’s say the craziest thing in the world occurs and a judge and jury find the QAnon Shaman is worthy of the exact amount of money he’s asking for.
That would mean he would be awarded all the money currently in circulation on the planet Earth. Additionally, all the money that is hidden away in checking and savings accounts, leaving the rest of us to split the remaining $8.9 trillion.
There’s also the fact that the self-representing shaman claims he is the rightful president of a new nation. He calls it the “New Constitutional Republic of the United States,” with Phoenix as its capital. He says he intends to mint a one-ounce gold coin to cover the national debt. Sure, man.
QAnon Shaman Claims He’s the Real President, Sues Trump for $40 Trillion
In Chansley’s telling, he’s been surveilled by the NSA under the Patriot Act while crafting a second Declaration of Independence. If you’re wondering how Warner Bros. fits into all this, he alleges that Warner Bros. stole the ideas for The Dark Knight and Avatar from his writings.
He also claims to have been catfished on Facebook by an NSA agent pretending to be his celebrity crush, Michelle Rodriguez. He says he was offered a job handling “other-worldly matters” with NASA because his “shamanic beliefs” made him perfectly suited to deal with aliens.
Chansley also says the feds stole $100,000 in crypto from him and that Donald Trump emailed him from [email protected]. Again, he is either completely out of his mind or, I fear more realistically, it’s all just an act to get some attention, in which case—congrats, man. I hope this fills that void in your soul.
The man who once stormed the Capitol in Donald Trump’s name is now suing a scattershot of people and entities that his possibly unhealthy, conspiratorial brain has compiled into a vast network out to get him and him specifically. None of this should be surprising.
This, or something like it, is the future that MAGA conspiracy theorists have to look forward to. A movement built on conspiracy that started cannibalizing itself, leaving once proud members and mascots like the QAnon Shaman holding the bag.
He’s been abandoned by a movement that only saw people like him as useful idiots to be moved around like pawns as they did the bidding of the rich and powerful, who don’t want to get their own hands dirty.
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