Weaponized incompetence isn’t just a problem for couples. Here’s how your coworker might be taking advantage of you.

• Weaponized incompetence is when someone deliberately performs a task poorly to avoid doing it again.
• It happens in relationships, but it can also happen in the workplace.
• TK

My eighth-grade home economics class taught me that chores get done faster when you work in pairs. One person scrubs the dishes while the other dries and puts them away.

So, imagine if your significant other keeps asking where you keep the pot lids or insisting that the dishes look cleaner when you do them. Perhaps you decide that dishwashing should be a solo chore. Anything is better than having to give your partner a nightly tour of the kitchen.

This pattern of deliberately performing a task poorly to avoid doing it is called weaponized incompetence. Social media is full of examples of people, mostly men, failing at chores such as neglecting to refill an empty water pitcher or holding a crying infant while their partner is taking a shower.

It’s not just couples who are guilty of weaponized incompetence. This behavior can occur in the workplace, such as when a coworker claims that they’re terrible with technology, so creating presentation slides becomes your responsibility.

Here’s how to tell if a coworker is engaging in weaponized incompetence and strategies to address this behavior.

Recognizing the signs of weaponized incompetence

“Weaponized incompetence is a strategy people use when they attempt to get out of completing a task by feigning ignorance of the task in hopes someone else will do it, likely passing that task to a colleague or manager,” Sanam Hafeez, PsyD, neuropsychologist, told Business Insider. Another name for this behavior is willful incompetence.

For example, your colleague might ask you to finish a report because they’re “too slow” or you’re “better at writing.” They’re capable of doing the task, but they intentionally underperform or downplay their skills to avoid responsibility.

“Think of it as the opposite of performance punishment,” Brianna Paruolo, LCMHC, clinical director and founder of On Par Therapy, told Business Insider. “While high achievers get burdened with more work, weaponized incompetence results in less work assigned to the perpetrator and a frustrated team picking up the slack.”

Another sign of weaponized incompetence is if your coworker is assigned a task and they immediately defer to others without attempting the task themselves, Paruolo said. Or they’ll continue to make the same mistakes despite having received feedback on how to improve.

If your coworker is new to the role or busy with other tasks, their reluctance to take on a new project might be understandable. But if this is a consistent pattern rather than an isolated incident, this behavior falls into the category of weaponized incompetence, Hafeez said.

It’s bad for workers and business

Weaponized incompetence can have a ripple effect. High-performing employees may experience burnout from having to take on extra work, Paruolo said.

Low-performing employees can develop a reputation for being lazy or manipulative. “This can easily form a work culture of frustration, resentment, distrust, and conflict that can spread and impair employees’ morale and output,” Hafeez said.

Some work cultures may allow employees to use the system to their advantage. For instance, they might be encouraged or rewarded for pawning off extra work on others, to focus on their own pursuits, Hafeez said.

“When poor performance goes unchecked, it can demoralize those who take genuine pride in their work,” Paruolo said. “It ultimately undermines productivity and can breed toxic workplace environments, where many workers feel exploited.”

It’s a pattern, but is it intentional?

Weaponized incompetence allows people to avoid work that they see as uncomfortable or undesirable. However, it’s not always intentional, Hafeez said.

Starting in childhood, people may be encouraged to focus on certain tasks, which prevents them from developing other skills. For example, some sports may emphasize teamwork, while others foster competition or individual success.

“Sometimes, a necessary skill, tool, or piece of knowledge is just missing, and people, either through embarrassment or fear, may turn to others for help,” Hafeez said. Ironically, if someone struggles with perfectionism or performance anxiety, avoidance can make the situation worse.

“There is strength and wisdom in admitting you might not know something or that an assigned task doesn’t fall under your umbrella of expertise,” Paruolo said. “Weaponized incompetence, on the other hand, can stem from an avoidance behavior, as it can be an effective way to escape accountability.”

How to address weaponized incompetence

Before making assumptions about a colleague’s apparent lack of skills, try talking to them. Listen to their perspective and explore what may be at the root of this behavior, Hafeez said.

When speaking to a coworker, use clear and direct communication. Paruolo recommended the following statements to address weaponized incompetence:

• “I’ve walked you through this process a couple of times now, so I’d like you to try handling it independently and reach out only if you hit a specific roadblock.”
• “I notice you often ask for help with [task], but I’m confident you have the skills to manage this. What would help you feel more comfortable doing it on your own?”
• “Going forward, I’ll need you to attempt the task first and document what specific step you’re struggling with before asking for assistance.”
• “I want to make sure you’re building confidence with these responsibilities, so let’s set up a timeline for you to take full ownership of this process.”
• “I’ve been covering a lot of your [tasks/responsibilities] lately, and I need to focus on my own workload. Let’s discuss how you plan to handle these moving forward?”

If you’ve gone over a task and your coworker is still confused, resist the urge to take over. “Make space for them to try, even if they don’t get it 100% correct,” Paruolo said.

Discuss knowledge gaps and how they can gain the necessary skills to take ownership of their tasks. “Concrete to-do lists or schedules can help minimize ambiguity about who is responsible for completing what task and when,” Hafeez said.

Lastly, it’s wise to periodically assess progress and make adjustments to ensure that the workload is fair and everyone has the same expectations. If weaponized incompetence persists, document what you’re observing and consider involving management, especially if your coworker’s actions are affecting your morale and productivity.

Nandini Maharaj is a freelance writer covering health, wellness, identity, and relationships. She holds a master’s degree in counseling and a doctorate in public health.

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