Our housing costs tripled when we moved to be near family. It was worth it.

• The first two years of parenthood were lonely, and my husband and I decided to move near family.
• We started looking at homes in North Carolina and planning our move from suburban Ohio.
• In the end, our housing costs tripled, but we feel it’s worth it.

My son was born in 2020, and the first two years of parenthood were lonely. My husband and I had been living in a small suburb in the Midwest since 2015, and we were far from our families. We had good jobs and minimal prospects closer to family, but still, we dreamed of being closer.

We wanted a deeper connection with our families and more role models in our child’s life, more than we wanted to keep our secure employment and keep up with the status quo. Shaking up our stable financial lives to get back to the beautiful climate, picturesque nature, and community living that awaited us back home was worth it.

We made a plan to move closer to family

So, we made it our goal to move from our suburb in Ohio back to the higher-cost Southern city where his extended family lived in North Carolina. However, with the job markets out of alignment, it seemed unlikely we would be able to find work there quickly, and we had to figure out a plan before we moved.

Our first choice would be to keep our current jobs and work remotely. This opportunity emerged in 2021, but even with that settled, the cost of housing was a barrier at first.

The way the housing market shook out in 2022 meant that we had the opportunity to sell our house in the Midwest at a strong profit. Though the four-bedroom house was older, it was still move-in-ready. We’d bought it for $93,000 in 2015, and after a $19,000 down payment, it ended up only costing us around $800 a month with taxes, mortgage, and insurance.

Since our housing costs were so low, we were able to save fairly aggressively, and we took advantage of that — partially because we knew that, if we ever had to move, we’d almost definitely experience higher housing costs.

We were able to buy a home we loved, though it was more expensive

These savings ended up being especially necessary when we realized that buying a home in the rapidly changing market we were looking in would require more resources and quicker thinking than when we bought our first home. In early 2022, while we were relaxing on a Saturday morning, my husband showed me a listing for a house. The House.

It wasn’t fancy, but it was perfectly located, had a huge yard for the area, and was all one story, which was nice with a toddler running around. The price was on the low side for the area, but it was still a half-million-dollar house; in fact, the list price was $500,000 exactly. When we crunched the numbers, we figured out that this house would be doable.

If we scaled back our savings rate and sold our old house, we could swing a solid down payment and pay the $2400 a month housing costs. It would be a big lifestyle change, but we wanted to be close to family so badly. It felt like an investment in our mental health and community connection. In the end, we were able to sell the old house for $176,000, buy the new house — there were multiple offers, and in the end, we got it for $520,000 — and we finally got ourselves back into an intergenerational community by mid-2022.

The move was worth it

We’ve now spent three years in this house, and it has been abundantly worthwhile. It’s not just that I’m no longer chasing an active kiddo up and down stairs, though I do appreciate that frequently.

My son now gets to have dinner and play dates with his grandma every week, and at least one or two visits a month with his great-grandma, great-aunt, and great-uncle. We’re just a couple hours drive from my family, too, leading to meet-in-the-middle meals and shared outings.

Aside from those visits, there have also been specific moments that have reminded me how deeply lucky we are to live here. When my son was hospitalized briefly with a bad case of RSV, we had family visitors at the hospital who picked up dinner for us and helped us get settled back in at home after a stressful couple of days.

When my husband’s great-uncle is out of town, my son and husband go over and feed the cats and explore his rural property, building my son’s sense of responsibility and connection to family. Surprise meetups for coffee or dinner are more affordable and fit naturally into our lives; when we lived hours away, just that much connection would necessitate tons of driving and hotel stays. These are little things, but every month, I feel like we more than get our money’s worth for the tripled mortgage costs.

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