Long-distance relationships test patience, creativity, and your Wi-Fi connection. They also test how far you’re willing to go to keep sex from turning into a memory rather than a regular part of your life. Phone sex might sound like a relic from the landline era, but with FaceTime, remote-control toys, and good lighting, it’s become a full-blown performance art.
“Distance might test a relationship, but it doesn’t have to dampen the passion,” says Julia Stein, a Berlin-based sex consultant and relationship advisor at Drachen Dildo. “With technology at our fingertips, couples can explore new dimensions of pleasure that might surprise them.”
Stein argues that long-distance intimacy works best when couples treat it as an opportunity to experiment rather than a consolation prize. “Sexual creativity is a fun and fundamental way to keep long-distance relationships alive,” she explains. “When couples can’t rely on spontaneous physical touch, they’re forced to become more intentional about pleasure and connection.”
So what does that look like in practice? Stein offered six positions and techniques designed specifically for screen-to-screen sex.
1. The Mirror Match
Sit or lie facing the camera at the same angle and mimic each other’s movements. “Camera placement is everything here,” Stein advises. Position it at chest height for that flattering, intimate gaze that feels more like a bedroom than a Zoom call.
2. The Show and Tell
One partner takes charge while the other watches and reacts. This is where remote-controlled toys shine, with the watcher adjusting intensity from afar. Lighting matters: “Go for romantic restaurant rather than interrogation room,” Stein notes.
3. The Fantasy Director
One of you plays director, calling the shots, while the other performs. The voyeurism of giving or receiving instructions adds another layer of foreplay. It also keeps both partners active instead of one simply watching.
4. The Synchronized Swim
Choose a playlist or even count together to stay in rhythm. Moving in sync builds a sense of unity even when there’s an ocean between you.
5. The Close-Up Artist
Full-body shots are overrated. Zoom tight on the action—faces, fingers, skin on skin. Half the thrill is leaving the rest to the imagination.
6. The Remote Control Romance
App-controlled toys give one partner the wheel while the other reacts. The thrill comes from surrendering control and watching your partner respond.
Stein adds a few final tips: make eye contact with the camera lens, not your screen; use dirty talk with specificity; roleplay scenarios that work well over video; and schedule intimacy like a date. “The best long-distance intimacy happens when both partners are fully present,” she says.
Distance may stretch the logistics, but it also stretches the imagination. Done right, it can turn phone sex from filler into a real connection.
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