While scrolling online recently, I stumbled upon this intriguing post on The Sun. Written by Mel Fallowfield, the article explored the mindset behind married men cheating.
With her husband’s permission, Fallowfield accessed a dating site specifically aimed at married men who are seeking affair partners.
“The site has 1.5 million users and September is one of their busiest months—sign-ups soared by 19% this time last year, believed to be a consequence of the strain the summer holidays put on relationships,” she wrote on The Sun.
Why does such a platform exist? Who tf knows.
Anyway.
Researchers Found a Surprising Common Trait in Cheating Husbands
The reporter created a fake profile on the app to lure men to match with her. On the four dates she scheduled (with men whose ages ranged from 38 to 80), she got to dip a bit deeper into why so many men were eager to cheat on their spouses.
Shockingly, she learned that most of them weren’t unhappy. Most of them didn’t want to leave their wives. Most of them even adored said wives.
So…why, exactly, were they pursuing infidelity?
Why Do Married Men Cheat?
According to Fallowfield, most of the married men she met didn’t want to end their marriages. Rather, they just wanted to spice up their own sex lives. To them, they figured they’d fulfill this desire by cheating.
“I’d say 90% of the profiles I read made it clear they didn’t want their marriages to end—and remarkably, they all doted on their wives,” Fallowfield wrote. “However, away from their humdrum marriages, they wanted fun, passion, excitement and more sex (of course).”
She added that many of the men were specifically seeking out certain kinks, like BDSM. One even admitted to viewing cheating as a hobby. Some specified that they didn’t want to “rock the marital boat,” as if having affair in and of itself wouldn’t do that.
I digress.
One of the four men was a 52-year-old husband with a 12-year-old son and a wife he apparently still loved.
“He claimed to still adore her—which I soon realized is a common denominator with these cheaters—but missed physical intimacy,” said Fallowfield.
Is There a Cheating ‘Type’?
Many people find comfort in telling themselves that cheaters make themselves obvious by dressing and behaving in a certain. Maybe, in your mind, they look like gym bros or frat boys. However, Fallowfield noted that the four cheaters didn’t really fit into a specific “type.”
“These men were from all walks of life, some had children, others didn’t, they were from all age groups,” she explained. “The only thing they all had in common is that they all appeared to dote on their wives.”
Not to mention, one of them was as old as 80 and still prioritizing sex with another woman over his wife.
“I know some women turn a blind eye to infidelity, thinking their husband will ‘grow out of it,’” Fallowfield wrote. “If this ageing lothario is anything to go by, they don’t. He turned up on his bike, with a bottle of wine and a hotel reservation made—just in case I was ready and willing to spend the afternoon with him.”
Fallowfield also noted that many of the men’s affair partners were married women. So, it seems it’s not a gender-specific habit.
The post This Is the One Thing Almost Every Cheating Husband Has in Common appeared first on VICE.
