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They Met on a First Date — but Not With Each Other

September 12, 2025
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They Met on a First Date — but Not With Each Other
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Before meeting, Laura Elizabeth Pitcher and Julius Maxi Frazer had been familiar with each other online — matching once on Hinge and following each other on Instagram. He admired her writing, while she was a fan of his photography.

Then, in April of 2021, the two finally crossed paths during a double date at Little Dokebi, a Korean restaurant in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, with friends who ran in the same circle. Ms. Pitcher had already arrived with her date and was mid-conversation when Mr. Frazer finally showed up — very late — to meet his date. But instead of being put off by his tardiness, Ms. Pitcher soon found herself more interested in him and realized that she would have preferred to be on the date with Mr. Frazer instead.

“There was something about him that I was very drawn to,” she said.

Though they saw each other in passing since their double date, neither pursued anything further than the occasional “hello” at parties. Later that year, Ms. Pitcher, 31, moved to London while Mr. Frazer, 32, stayed in Brooklyn.

Then, in April 2022, on Mr. Frazer’s birthday — exactly a year after their double date — the two ran into each other in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn.

“I had just moved back to New York, and my cat was screaming for food,” Ms. Pitcher said. “So I went to a shop to grab cat food, and I saw Julius across the street.”

Mr. Frazer invited Ms. Pitcher to his birthday party, which was happening later that evening. Unable to convince any friends to join her, Ms. Pitcher did not attend. The ball was in her court.


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The post They Met on a First Date — but Not With Each Other appeared first on New York Times.

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