I attended an academically rigorous magnet high school. I loved it, but I wanted something different for my daughter.

I’m fortunate to raise my children in Washington, D.C., a city with a robust public education system and seemingly endless high school options.

When I began researching schools for my daughter, I initially envisioned her attending an academic magnet school similar to the one I attended and loved as a teenager.

However, once I started seriously looking at what her high school experience would be like if she followed in my footsteps, I realized it wasn’t the best fit for her and encouraged her to look elsewhere.

I found my way to the high school I wanted to attend

When I was in eighth grade, I decided I wanted to follow a different path from most of my peers. While my friends were excitedly looking forward to starting ninth grade at our neighborhood high school, I started researching the many magnet school options available in my hometown of Philadelphia. My choices included a school focused on the arts and one dedicated to agricultural sciences.

After careful consideration, I decided to apply to Central High School, which emphasizes academics. Once I secured a coveted spot at Central, some family members dissuaded me from going. They thought there would be too much pressure and that I could get a good education at my neighborhood school without the long commute. However, I didn’t listen. I knew I was up for the challenge.

I absolutely loved my experience. I thrived taking classes that pushed me to constantly think more deeply. I made great friends from around the city — some of whom came from backgrounds very different from my own, which was its own kind of education.

When I started college, I felt well prepared and found many of my classes easier than those I had taken in high school. I never once regretted my decision.

I discouraged my teens from taking a similar path

When my kids were younger, I envisioned them attending a similar high school. I was initially happy when my daughter expressed interest in applying to a similarly academically rigorous magnet high school. However, that changed after I took her to the high school’s open house. I realized then that I couldn’t imagine my daughter spending four years there, and suddenly wasn’t sure that I wanted my teens to have the same type of high school experience I had, after all.

I wasn’t concerned that my daughter wouldn’t do well academically. However, I was concerned she wouldn’t thrive in an environment singularly focused on academic success.

When I reflected on my own high school experience, I realized I missed out on a lot. I decided that I want my daughter to have a less stressful, more balanced high school experience, something I knew she was unlikely to have at a magnet school.

The workload at my high school was heavy, leaving little time for sports and other extracurricular activities, which my daughter enjoys. Plus, there was tremendous pressure to be nearly perfect, which took a toll on my mental health.

I want my daughter to challenge herself and be challenged by her teachers and peers. However, I don’t want her high school years to be consumed by competition and the belief that nothing is more important than high grades.

I don’t think I was more successful in life because of my high school

I started high school believing that a difficult program would be the first step to a successful career. During high school, I undoubtedly learned facts, critical thinking, and time management skills that have been useful in the workplace and at home.

However, with the benefit of hindsight, I’m not sure my life would have turned out much differently if I had gone to a less demanding high school. Nearly all of my childhood friends attended our neighborhood high school. Many went on to careers that were just as successful, if not more so, than my magnet school peers. Moreover, I often wonder if I might have chosen a different path if I had had more time to explore interests outside school.

Ultimately, I left the decision of which school to attend up to my daughter. She chose a public International Baccalaureate (IB) school and is thriving. Not only is she being challenged academically and rising to the occasion, but she is also a successful athlete and is involved in a variety of extracurricular activities that she loves.

I’m glad I rethought my approach to my teen’s education, and we found such a good fit.

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