Newsom Blasts Trump’s ‘Dumb’ Right-Hand Man

Gavin Newsom has launched a fresh round of attacks on the Trump administration by calling out JD “Couch Boy” Vance.

Despite weeks of brutally trolling President Donald Trump and his closest allies by mimicking his penchant for unhinged, ALL CAPS rants, many of Trumpland’s most prominent figures still don’t seem to understand that the California governor is “mocking” the president, not emulating him.

Vance is the latest person to seemingly out himself as being clueless about Newsom’s intent.

Over the weekend, Vance spoke with former RNC co-chair-turned-Fox News host Lara Trump, who asked Vance his opinion on the Democrats who seem most likely to run for president in 2028, presumably against the current VP himself.

Seated in front of a fireplace with logs cut perfectly to length but seemingly unlit, Vance—between chuckles—told Trump, who is married to the president’s son Eric: “I just don’t think much of the modern Democratic Party. Obviously, I’m biased. I look at these guys, I think some of them are actually trying to mimic President Trump.

“You can’t mimic his style; he just is who he is.”

Newsom wasn’t about to let the obliviousness of the moment pass. So, in the same mocking style, sent a scathing reply to Vance, writing: “COUCH BOY, I’M NOT MIMICKING DOZY DON. I’M MOCKING HIM. ONLY SOMEONE WITH A LAW DEGREE FROM CHUCK E. CHEESE COULD BE AS DUMB AS YOU!!! — GCN.”

COUCH BOY, I’M NOT MIMICKING DOZY DON. I’M MOCKING HIM. ONLY SOMEONE WITH A LAW DEGREE FROM CHUCK E. CHEESE COULD BE AS DUMB AS YOU!!! — GCN https://t.co/NtS2TGcpjT

— Governor Newsom Press Office (@GovPressOffice) September 7, 2025

Whether intentionally or otherwise, Vance has seemed to miss this point in Newsom’s line of attack for some time.

“You said he’s mimicking Donald Trump, and I think that’s exactly right,” Vance said in an August interview with Fox News host Will Cain. “The lesson of Donald Trump in American politics is you’ve got to be authentic to yourself, and when I see Gavin Newsom try to act like Donald Trump… that’s the opposite of authenticity.

“He’s not trying to be Gavin Newsom, whoever that is; he’s trying to be a fake carbon copy of Donald Trump, and it just doesn’t work. You can’t mimic the king, you can’t mimic the master, just go and be yourself, and I think the American people would like that a lot more than a cheap imitation of the president of the United States.

California Governor Gavin Newsom speaks after he and other lawmakers signed the "Election Rigging Response Act" in Sacramento, California, U.S., August 21, 2025. REUTERS/Fred Greaves — Gavin Newsom his positioned himself as the Democrats’ toller in chief Fred Greaves/Reuters

Newsom’s “couch” reference is a nod to an almost certainly scurrilous rumor that circulated last year, which claimed the vice president had once copulated with a piece of furniture.

Vance has often found himself in Newsom’s sights. On Sept. 1, the governor shared an old video clip of Vance on X that read: “Grew a beard and lost his spine. But at least he kept the eyeliner.”