There’s no delicate way to put this: Florida is run by vile morons. It’s my home state, so I can say that. Real top-shelf dipshits who care more about scoring points in a culture war than they do about actually protecting their own citizens. They are dangerously stupid, paranoid conspiracy theorists who just announced plans to become the first state to scrap vaccine mandates altogether. Not just for COVID, the most recent extremely safe vaccine the right has lost its mind over. But all of them. Every single vaccine.
Dr. Joseph Ladapo, Florida’s Surgeon General, announced the move this week, calling existing vaccine requirements “immoral” and a violation of parental rights, even putting it on par with slavery, which is just about the dumbest thing anyone has ever said.
This sweeping move doesn’t just throw out decades of proven public health policy; it’s a full-on, extraordinarily dangerous embrace of Robert F Kennedy Jr.’s anti-vaxxerism. In response, California, Oregon, and Washington state are forming a sort of West Coast vaccine Avengers to resist the illogical politicalization of common-sense medical practices. It’s a low bar, but it’s nice to see that some states actively care about protecting their own citizens.
Let’s be clear: vaccines have saved over 154 million lives globally in the past 50 years. That’s from the World Health Organization, not big Pharma. But if you’re prone to rampant far-right conspiracy theories, even an organization like WHO is a part of the grand scheme to control the planet, meaning people inclined to believe in anti-vaxx conspiracy theories have, in a sense, immunized themselves from facts.
Diseases like polio, diphtheria, and measles have become relics of the past thanks to immunization mandates. Or, they were, until anti-vaxxers refusing to get their kids immunized from measles were solely responsible for the wild spread of measles and the death of several children as a result, and all because they refused to take one of the most trusted and safest vaccines on the planet. Measles was all but eradicated, and then a bunch of conspiracy theorists too afraid to get a shot brought it back with a vengeance. Thanks, guys!
Yet, even having seen what happens in under-vaccinated red states, Florida is marching ahead with its plan to eliminate all vaccine mandates in schools and daycare centers, which are currently required for diseases like chickenpox, hepatitis B, and polio. There’s no clear timeline, but you’ll probably hear about how well it’s going when children across the state are riddled with polio like it’s 1920.
The American Medical Association didn’t quite call Florida’s plan to ban vaccine mandates a steaming chunky bowl of diarrhea, but they essentially did when they released a statement saying that to end vaccine mandates “would undermine decades of public health progress” and that they “urge Florida to reconsider this change to help prevent a rise of infectious disease outbreaks that put health and lives at risk.”
Just so you’re aware that not everyone in the state of Florida is a raving lunatic, Rep. Anna Eskamani, who’s running for Orlando mayor, called the move a “public health disaster in the making for the Sunshine State,” adding that it’s “reckless and dangerous,” which is just Florida’s state motto at this point.
Gov. Ron DeSantis is, of course, celebrating. The conspiratorial right has accomplished its goal of dismantling what DeSantis called “medical orthodoxy” and sees it as a win for “medical freedom,” a term that here seems to mean “I will never be sorry that your child died because of me.”
If you’re a terrified Floridian, please remain calm. There’s nothing to fear. Remember, without vaccine mandates, you are now truly free. Even if it kills you.
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