A millennial mom is going viral after taking her parenting cues from an earlier era.
Vanessa (@vanessaeves), who did not share her full name, posted a reel on Instagram, outlining the way she parents as if it were 1985.
“Too many kids these days spend too much time inside and far too much time on screens,” the 43-year-old told Newsweek. “I grew up in New Zealand in the 80s and we had the most wonderful childhood—always outside, in nature and using our imaginations for play. I want to make sure my kids are exposed to the same positive aspects of the way we grew up.”
After moving from New Zealand to the U.K. at 22, Vanessa shared all the “potentially dividing” ways in which she parents her two kids.
Some of them include: giving presents only on birthdays and Christmas; letting her children be bored; there being no Xbox; not allowing bare feet in the garden; limiting screentime; and not stressing if the vegetables on repeat are just carrots and cucumbers.
The mom revealed what is the most-challenging edict to enforce: “probably the not wearing shoes outside,” Vanessa said. “My husband is Irish, and they always wear shoes! Common sense obviously always comes into play. My point is to let them play in the garden without shoes, not out at the supermarket.”
The same applies to screentime, Vanessa added. “We’re honest with our kids … and they respect the boundaries when we give them.”
Generational trends expert Daniel Levine told Newsweek that Vanessa’s choices are part of a wider countermovement.
“This parenting approach is a mix that both aligns with and pushes back against current trends,” Levine said. “Letting [kids] be bored is a reaction against the culture of constant stimulation and over-scheduled children. Presents only for special occasions flies in the face of ‘treat culture’ that has taken over Gen Z as a form of self-care.”
Limiting screentime, Levine added, reflects a desire to put people back in charge, not devices.
But he cautioned against labeling it purely nostalgic. “This isn’t really about the 80s; it’s a return to timeless parenting principles that predate the digital age. Parents’ nostalgia isn’t necessarily a good guide. Generations evolve and have different pressures and social norms.
“This parent’s experience of being raised in New Zealand in the 80s is highly specific and may not be a perfect model for raising a child elsewhere today,” Levine said.
Responses to Vanessa’s reel were mixed. Some users were enthusiastic and in support of the mom’s parenting choices.
“Finally, someone that’s not telling me to make my own bread and yogurt and grow my own veg to be a good mum. These points are all great and I can totally relate,” one user wrote.
“Love love love this! We try to do the same thing! None of this entitled, but hurt and unable to work garbage in our home!” another added.
Others, however, were slightly critical, and the poster was fine with that.
“We all know parenting is so divisive—there’s always going to be someone who disagrees with you,” Vanessa said. “Some people take things too literally and miss the humor—even with four to five laughing emoji—but that’s also OK. I just let them.”
For Vanessa, parenting like it is 1985 is less about rules and more about values. She said she hopes her children will grow up to be confident, independent and resilient.
“I’m in no way a parenting expert; just a normal, mid-40s mom sharing the way I’m navigating parenting in 2025 and trying to feed aspects of my 1980s Kiwi [New Zealand] upbringing in where I can,” Vanessa said. “If it helps other moms feel seen and not alone in the way they’re parenting, then I’m glad I shared it.”
The post Mom Has Realization About Modern-Day Parenting, Decides To Go Back to 1985 appeared first on Newsweek.
