If there’s one statement to make any parent groan it’s hearing, “I’m bored!” from their kids.
You spent the morning doing arts and crafts, watched two episodes of “Bluey”, baked cookies in the afternoon and even squeezed in a trip to the park—so now what?
Parents will pack schedules and ply their kids with on-screen entertainment to ward off the threat of a bored child, but according to play expert Cas Holman, boredom may actually be one of the greatest gifts we can give kids.
Holman, author of “Playful: How Play Shifts Our Thinking, Inspires Connection, and Sparks Creativity“, told Newsweek that boredom is essential for children’s development.
“When their lives are over scheduled, they don’t have practice deciding what they want to do,” she said. “When their attention is overstimulated, they are out of touch with their intrinsic motivation—the inner drive and desire that moves them toward a personal interest.”
Instead, boredom forces kids to look around, notice and experiment. “[They] turn over a rock because it’s there, throw a stick because it’s fun [or] open a book because the cover is interesting,” Holman said.
In doing so, being curious and making decisions enables children to discover entire worlds to explore—one that feels more personal because they chose them.
Holman described two kinds of activities children engage in: generative and consumptive. When children have free, unstructured time—often born from boredom—they generate their own play. They make choices that not only spark curiosity but also support their emotional needs.
Dr. Kyle W Boerke, a clinical child psychologist at OSF HealthCare, agreed and pointed out that a child might walk to a neighbor’s house to ask if they want to play—an act that develops social skills and problem-solving.
“[The scenario is] a whole extra level of benefit that comes from mustering up the courage to ring the doorbell, speaking to the parents, and asking the other child if they want to play,” Dr. Boerke said.
“Then you two have to work cooperatively together to identify what game you might play,” he continued. “Through that interaction, you have again built critical thinking skills, developed social skills, and increased self-esteem.”
The Problem With Screens
By contrast, consumptive activities—often screen-based—offer passive distraction with little developmental payoff.
“It’s a misconception that giving them a screen is easier,” Holman explained. “In the short and long term, they aren’t learning how to engage with their environment. They are tuning out rather than in.”
She also noted that parents often feel guilty if their kids are “just sitting around.” But she suggests that this may stem from kids not having enough practice in turning boredom into action.
“I know that this feeling comes from a place of wanting to give them everything they need to succeed in life, and be a good parent, but there are two assumptions I’d like to shift,” Holman said.
First, that kids need someone to tell them what to do with free time, but they don’t, she assured. Second, productivity only means structured activities that lead to high performance.
“Kids should do what they love whether or not they excel at that thing. They need to play for play’s sake,” she said.
The benefits of boredom extend far beyond childhood. Holman pointed to her years teaching design students at Rhode Island School of Design (RISD) who were “great” at being bored.
“They lingered in unknowns comfortably, which often led to the most unusual and innovative results,” she said. “They weren’t preoccupied with what I wanted them to do, or what would get them an A grade. Instead, they pursued what they were curious about, excited by new concepts and that they discovered along the way.”
How to Introduce ‘Good Boredom’
For parents worried about how to introduce “good boredom” into daily life, Dr. Boerke suggested starting small with “technology time-outs” for the whole family.
“Start with setting technology time outs in your daily schedule, where no phones, no gaming, no television are permitted during those times,” he said. “When we take the time to unplug, you will start to see their creativity come out.”
Holman recommended simple, playful approaches. Even routine chores can become opportunities for discovery.
“If the alternative to boredom is chores, try involving kids in household chores,” she said. “Helping make dinner, set the table, and pick up toys and clothes can be playful.
“Let it take longer, let the pasta be a little overcooked, and the socks get folded wrong,” Holman continued. “It’s likely that in the process the child/children will find something else to do and follow their noses into not being bored.”
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