“This is the only picture I have of my daughter.”
“ As a 3-year-old child you used to love sunflowers and a raw egg on rice. I wish I knew what you are like now.”
“The first thing I have to fight is the feeling of revenge.”
Christian Louis, born in Cameroon, hasn’t seen his daughter since 2014, when his Japanese wife filed for divorce in Tokyo.
Japan is the only G7 country with no joint custody. Only one parent maintains shinken, or parental rights, following divorce. Japanese nationals have a preference over foreign-born spouses, who usually lose all parental rights.
Divorce means many never get to see their children again.
OPTICS
‘Forever mine’: Estranged parents in Japan
Text and photos by ANNA BEDYNSKA in Tokyo
AUGUST 30, 2025 4:00 AM CET
Under Japan’s current custody system, an estimated 150,000 children lose access to a parent annually.
Things may or may not be different starting next year. In May 2024, the country’s legislature approved an amendment to its civil code, introducing the option of shared custody for divorced parents, and the law is scheduled to take effect by 2026. However, under this new system, joint custody will only be granted if both parents agree, otherwise leaving the family court to decide what’s best. This is leading many to view the change as largely symbolic.
The current system has wrought generational trauma on countless children, stripping them of parents, extended family and, sometimes, an entire culture and identity. Cases involving foreign nationals can become an international matter, sometimes involving even the U.N. and Interpol.
After years of legal battles, some parents manage to reconnect with their children, if the custodial parent allows it. But many become strangers to their kids. They can’t access medical records or take part in any decisions relating to the child’s school or health. They don’t know where they live and can’t see them.
They cease to exist.
“Under Japanese law, I am nobody [to] for my child.”
TOMAS SAVICKAS
LITHUANIA
May 19, 2016:Gabriele was nine months old
“I got out of the house and ran around pointless, senseless. I felt pain and fear that it was just the beginning of a nightmare that would last forever.”
“Even though my child is a grown-up now, I still look into prams, searching fora nine-month-old baby.”
“I realized that I willnot win in Japan.”
VINCENT FICHOT
FRANCE
August 10, 2018:Tsubasa was 3 years old Kaede was 11 months old
“I called my lawyer and he said: ‘You will never see them again.’”
“I decided to go on a hunger strike. It wasn’t an act of despair. I wanted to show my children I used all the means to fight for them. The only thing I had left was the 85 kg of my body.”
“In the light of a French law we are still married, we have joint custody over the children.”
“The last time I saw them was on a surveillance camera in my garage seven years ago.”
“My life is ruined but I am doing my best to rebuild our bond.”
KARINA
RUSSIA
May 19, 2016:Sion was 7 years old
“Although I have a permanent residence permit, my own business in Japan and I have good earnings, I am still a foreigner, which complicates the situation. Local authorities give priority to purebred Japanese.”
“After 6 years of alienation, I am grateful for the time I do have with him.”
“I fought a lengthy legal battle with nearly 100 court hearings and spent over $500,000, but I never regained custody of my son … Eventually, after managing to negotiate directly with my ex-husband, without lawyers, I agreed to forgo compensation in exchange for visitation rights.”
“In the court I heard: ‘Forget your children! They have a new mother so let’s not make a mess for them.’”
EMI
JAPAN
August 10, 2013:Towa was 7 years oldAyano was 3 months old
“I have been to court hundreds of times, all my money goes for the fight to let me see, meet my children. To let them know they have a loving mother who cares about them and who loves them beyond any measure.”
“I have been searching for them with private detectives … I don’t know where they live, what school they go to. If they are happy, sad, healthy or safe. Nothing.”
“I still hold onto hope that one day I will be reunited with them.”
“The judge said: ‘Imagine your child is dead’”
ENRIQUE
UNITED STATES
March 3, 2019:Melana was 3 years old
“We waited in the park, and when I saw her I ran towards her. I sat down, I opened my hands, I waited to hug her. I managed to tell her I love her. That was the last time I saw my daughter.”
“[After divorce, three years later,] my wife agreed to let me see Melana, once or twice a month … The problem is that Melana is now 7 years old … My Japanese is weak, we can hardly communicate. Yet , I do not complain, I take what is given to me, any minute spent with my daughter is a treasure.”
“Stay away. It’s what lawyers and police say.”
SUZUKI KEIKO
JAPAN
July 8, 2021:Hiro was 8 years old
“ All my son’s belongings had vanished. Only his backpack was left. Empty.”
“We continue with the visitations once a month … My son is told … not to come to my home, not to eat what I cook. Usually, we stay in some public places, eat dinner or lunch together, and have a stroll around. This month, I will visit my son at his school music performance for the first time. It took me 21 months to convince the school board and the principal.”
“In one day I was homeless, deprived of a child and jobless.”
VERÓNICA LONDSALE
CHILE
1993: Hiroto was 3 years old
“My son was told that I was dead. When he saw me for the first time after the abduction he was scared to death that I was a ghost, Obake.”
“I could meet my son because the new wife of my ex wanted us to be together. If not for her goodwill and empathy we would not be able to see each other. First she arranged our meetings in secret, later she forced my ex to let us live together.
“Today, we all — my ex, our child and children from our new marriages — are one big family spending holidays together. But it is exceptional in Japan. I know I was lucky.”
“I have no idea where they live, where they go to school, if they are healthy, alive or not.”
SCOTT MCINTYRE
AUSTRALIA
May 17, 2017:Hinta was 9 years oldHarugo was 7 years old
“My children are deprived of half of their identity and of their loving family. Their names are changed. Their friends, grandparents and cousins are all gone. Cut. Amputated.”
“This is the reality in Japan.”
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