4 things I wish I had known before shopping for my wedding dress

When I bought my wedding dress, it felt like the culmination of years of anticipation, as I had spent a lot of time writing about other people’s gowns.

I bought my gown at my first and only appointment, surrounded by a few close family members as I said yes to the dress.

The bridal appointment was largely seamless, but there were a few aspects of the experience I wish I had known about before walking into the boutique.

I went wedding dress shopping about a year before I tied the knot.

I tried on wedding dresses before my now-husband proposed, as I had a faux wedding dress appointment at Kleinfeld in New York City. (You’ll see photos from that shopping trip in this story.)

I thought that prior experience meant I knew what to expect when I shopped for my actual dress, but I was still surprised by some aspects of buying my gown.

It’s not the consultant’s job to tell you what looks good on you.

In my work, I rely on bridal experts to tell me what’s trending in the wedding world. I’m also a “Say Yes to the Dress” fan, so I thought listening to the advice of an opinionated yet kind consultant would lead me to my dream dress.

To my surprise, my consultant, Abby, didn’t share a single opinion during the appointment (aside from saying I looked beautiful in every gown).

Instead, she started asking me questions the second I entered the door. Before I tried on any gowns, she asked me what styles I liked and disliked, my vision for my wedding, and how I wanted to feel in the dress I wore to get married. Her questions helped me picture a dress that fit the day I described.

And when I started trying dresses on, the questions got more specific. What do you like about this dress? How does the skirt feel? Do you like that much structure in the bodice? Can you imagine yourself dancing in this?

Abby didn’t push me toward any gown; instead, she let me tell her what I felt in each one. Her approach made me trust her and ensured I picked a dress I loved, not just a trendy or expensive one.

Gowns look different on the hanger than they do on your body.

During my appointment, I got to walk through the salon and select gowns I wanted to try on from the plethora hanging in the store. I was drawn to everything from simple satin and lace patterns to sparkles and skirts with varying train lengths.

I returned to my dressing room giddy to try them on, already picturing wearing some of them on my wedding day.

But many dresses I liked on the hanger weren’t my favorite when I wore them. They were pretty gowns, but the silhouettes looked different from what I’d imagined, not fitting my vision for my bridal look.

I also tried on some gowns that Abby suggested I consider, some of which were nothing like the ones I had picked for myself. I was skeptical of her suggestions, but I told her I would try them on anyway.

I’ve never been so happy to be wrong, as Abby actually chose the dress I bought. Hanger appeal isn’t everything, and I think it’s a good idea for all brides to at least be open to trying on dresses they don’t think are for them.

A dress can look gorgeous and still not be your top choice.

Based on my conversations with other brides, I also thought there would be several dresses I disliked during the appointment. I imagined myself feeling extreme about gowns one way or the other, loving or hating them on sight.

I was surprised to find I didn’t dislike a single dress. Instead, some gowns just didn’t feel like me.

All the dresses I tried on were beautifully crafted and way nicer than the clothes I wear daily. Seriously, I wrote this article wearing leggings and a sweatshirt covered in dog hair. It seems obvious now that I, of course, thought every dress I tried on was pretty.

The key wasn’t finding a pretty dress; it was finding a dress that made me feel the most like myself. With Abby’s help, I figured out that while the gowns were gorgeous, only one made me feel like a bride. I would have happily attended a red-carpet event in several of the dresses, but only one was right for my wedding day.

It’s easy to tune out other opinions if you’re clear about what you want.

I’m pretty indecisive by nature, and I know it’s common for brides to get confused as they listen to their loved ones’ opinions about what dress is right for them.

I lucked out, and the family members I brought to my appointment were nothing but supportive, gently making suggestions without making me doubt my choices. But more importantly, I could hold my ground on what I wanted by clearly envisioning my groom-to-be seeing me in my dress.

I kept the vision of my husband waiting for me at the end of the altar at the top of my mind, which made it easy to eliminate dresses that didn’t feel like me. If I started to feel confused by the number of white dresses in the fitting room, I took a breath and imagined holding hands with my husband as we welcomed our guests to the big day.

When I focused on what the dress was for, the choice was simple.

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