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How Do I Get Out of Helping My Dead Weight Former Colleague?
I have unfortunately crossed paths with a woman who continues to create awkward, work-related situations for me, even though we no longer work together.
I was pushed to hire this woman even though I knew she wasn’t a good fit. In her first two weeks, she asked if she could work remotely from only 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. and then “make up the time” in the evening. (I approved it on a trial basis.) She then asked if she could just take Fridays off and “make up the time” during the rest of the week. (I said let’s revisit after six months.) She asked if she could continue her side business, which would require her to miss work with less than 24 hours’ notice. (I said no.) Within the first three months, she missed almost every deadline and plagiarized part of a report. She also admitted to not making up the time as I suspected she wasn’t. She was dead weight on our team and made my workload heavier.
Fast forward to early this year, six months after she started. Our project was prematurely terminated in Trump’s cuts to foreign aid, and the only silver lining was that I’d no longer have to work with her because we’d all be out of a job.
Now, I and my team have been unemployed for months, and she has sent me an extremely detailed request asking me to help her in her job search by meeting with her to give her detailed information on what her strengths and faults are, and about what makes her “good at what she does.” If I were honest, I would tell her it was a mistake to hire her. But I don’t feel it’s worth the effort or stress. I can’t ignore her as we have a team closure event soon, and I will see her in person. Can I just tell her I don’t want to do this, don’t feel I worked with her long enough to provide this in-depth feedback, am too busy or something else, end of story?
— Anonymous
I think your best bet is to wrap up a lie in the guise of a truth. How?
Let’s first go over your stated options.
A. Tell her you don’t want to assist her in her search.
B. Tell her you haven’t worked with her long enough to fairly assess her abilities.
C. Tell her you’re too busy.
D. Come up with something else.
I’d start by combining Options B and C. Tell your former colleague that you’re overwhelmed with your own job search and not up to the task of giving feedback (true), especially since you haven’t worked with her long enough to feel comfortable doing so (false).
(Side note: I recommend that you really emphasize the “feel comfortable” bit, because it provides you with more cover, which is to say that it gives your former co-worker less to push back on. People can dispute what they believe are facts, but it’s a lot harder to argue with feelings.)
I hate to suggest that you, or anyone, be dishonest. If full transparency is important to you, Option A is the most straightforward, though it may lead to further questions.
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The post Help! My Terrible Ex-Employee Wants Advice on Her Job Search. appeared first on New York Times.
