In 1997, Daphne Rubin-Vega had just wrapped her Broadway debut in Rent, the groundbreaking rock musical that inspired a generation of theatergoers and sparked a devoted following of “Rentheads.” The then-28-year-old actor, who was grappling with sudden fame, was also beginning to come into her own.
“I was learning to become more fully what people call authentic,” says Rubin-Vega, 55. “Sometimes the word is so overused, it no longer means what it’s meant to mean. But I was becoming more fully myself.”
The show, created by the late Jonathan Larson, who died suddenly at 35 of an undiagnosed aortic dissection the night before the first off-Broadway preview, is loosely based on La Boheme and follows a group of struggling young artists working and living in the East Village in the shadow of the HIV/AIDS crisis. Rubin-Vega earned a Tony nomination for her role as Mimi Marquez, an HIV-positive heroin addict who works as an exotic dancer.
Rent was a launchpad for a robust film and TV career for Rubin-Vega that included roles in the NBC series Smash, about the behind-the-scenes drama of making a Broadway musical; the New York City-set romance Jack Goes Boating, which debuted off-Broadway and was later adapted into a film (Rubin-Vega starred in both); and, more recently, a four-episode arc in the most recent season of Only Murders in the Building. Next up, Rubin-Vega’s in Twelfth Night, the Shakespearean romantic comedy centered on love triangles and mistaken identities.
The star-studded play, also featuring Sandra Oh, Lupita and Junior Nyong’o, and Peter Dinklage, opens Thursday in Central Park at the Delacorte Theatre, which has reopened after two years and an $85 million glow-up. Rubin-Vega plays Maria, the gentlewoman to Countess Olivia (Oh), and although she’s done several productions with the Public Theater, it’s her first time doing Shakespeare in the Park — and the lifelong New Yorker is relishing nature, raccoons and all.
“The most sacred place is to be outside,” says Rubin-Vega. “To be in a park to see all of nature. And nature’s formidable. We think nature is manicured and stuff — nature is not manicured. Nature is the opposite.”
At 28, you had just finished Rent. It was obviously a massive success, and there was a lot of emotion involved. How were you feeling coming out of it?
I think of the Saturn return of it all. Everything seems to be more intense after 28 years, and the success of Rent and the questioning of “Is it good? Is it zeitgeist? Or is it just trauma porn because Jonathan died?” It’s more than just one thing, and it’s OK that it’s more than one thing to you. I mean, at that time, it wasn’t OK — it was a struggle to make sense of the catastrophe of success for me. I was a struggling actor singing, working at Patricia Field, and all of a sudden, people knew my name and treated me very differently.
Who or what helped you navigate it all?
My boyfriend, now husband, was my support system. My support system was the cast. My support system was the environment I was around at the time. But, yeah, 28 years, whew, it was tough. It was beautiful. And I don’t regret one instance of it at all. I had landed on the shores of a piece that became successful with my help, with the help of a collective. And it was like an affirmation. It was a confirmation: Hold on, ride the wave — and you’ll be safely on the shore that you are meant to be on.
Take me back to a typical day at that time. Where were you living? Where did you hang out?
I was hanging out with the kids [in the cast]. We were hanging out together. I don’t know how we had the energy to rehearse, do shows, and then hang out until late at night, but we were close. There was a sushi or a Japanese restaurant on Avenue A, and I would go there with Tommy [my husband]. He picked me up sometimes. Dinners at The Odeon — very simple stuff. At 28, I was working on an album, so I was traveling and meeting people and making music. I was just on a working trajectory. I had started my band. So we were hanging out at Joe’s Pub, The Cutting Room.
“Suddenly I became very, very invested in not wiping out because now people were watching. It’s cool when nobody’s watching, but when people start watching, it’s totally not cool.”
Tell me more about that — the work you were doing on the heels of Rent.
I did a film called Wild Things in Florida with Kevin Bacon, Matt Dillon, Neve Campbell, and Denise Richards, and a whole embarrassment-of-riches of actors. So that was hella great. And then right after that, I went straight to working on an album on a label called Mercury. By the end of the album, the record company just completely imploded. And so that whole project got folded. I was devastated. To me, that was as significant a miscarriage as anything. I gave the masters of the record to Napster and encouraged the world to download the free record. And then I formed a band, and we did that thing for a while.
What was your biggest challenge going from doing a Broadway show like Rent and then pivoting to more film and album work?
I loved all of it — I really did. I was very excited and curious because it was new and I wanted to learn. I was trying to behave confidently until I hit a wall and realized I didn’t have any experience in this world. It reminds me of being a little kid learning how to ride a bike and roller skate. I needed to not be afraid to fall and wipe out. And at 28, suddenly I became very, very invested in not wiping out because now people were watching. It’s cool when nobody’s watching, but when people start watching, it’s totally not cool.
The stakes feel a lot higher when there are eyeballs on you.
I was like, “F*ck it. I’m going to be fully me,” because I know that all roads are leading me here. Being the youngest of three and being the only girl, I remember the boys playing and me being like, “Wait, I want to play! Listen! Pay attention!” And then they’d finally stop and pay attention, and I would be there like, “Umm…” Just the sudden shift of attention was enough to stop me in my tracks.
And somehow 28 was a little bit like that. It was like, “Are you willing to be this bold, courageous, and foolish, if you will, when these eyeballs are watching you?” There’s something self-censoring about that experience.
What did you believe about yourself or about success at that age that maybe you think about differently now?
Oh, my God. All those things that I thought I needed, that I actually got, were not the things that I needed to be a full, whole human. The experience of success is something that’s within. I could get it as much with a love letter, with a text of hello, with a new f*ck*ng tube of lipstick. Checks are good. Applause is phenomenal, but eye-to-eye contact is really what my soul loves these days. There’s nothing more satisfying and fulfilling than having eye-to-eye contact with somebody who is ready to connect.
It’s about the small wins. All of those collectively add up to a really big, rich life.
You just made me think of something because I mentioned the tube of lipstick. Months ago, and this is completely apropos of nothing, I was eating a papaya — I guess it was the beginning of the summer. And papaya seeds are so just black and beady and fascinating, so I scooped out a spoonful of the papaya seeds and planted them to see if a papaya would grow in New York City. Isn’t that insane? And, girl, I have a little papaya.
I love that.
I mean, I would FaceTime you to show you. It’s just this little sprout. It just makes me so happy to think, “Oh, my God, this will probably die before I ever see a fruit.” But just the gratitude.
You’ll have to keep me posted if the papaya comes to fruition in the end.
You’ll be like, “Hi, this is Christina. How’s that papaya?”
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