Sean Charles Dunn, a now-former Department of Justice employee, became internet infamous after a viral video captured him cussing out U.S. Customs and Border Protection agents in Washington. He also threw what was later confirmed to be a sandwich at one of them.
It was a sub sandwich, the most deadly of the sandwiches, due to its resemblance to a club. Coincidentally, a club sandwich would not make as effective a hurling weapon, despite its density provided by its triple-layering of meats and accoutrements.
According to a federal complaint, Dunn approached the on-duty agent shouting, “F**k you! You f**king fascists!” before lobbing the sandwich and making a run for it. His escape was short-lived.
After being apprehended, Dunn reportedly confessed to officers: “I did it. I threw a sandwich.”
Guy Who Chucked a Sub at DC Cops Now Facing Felony Charges
Round of applause for Dunn for finding the funniest way to frame that confession. This man is a legitimate hero.
For his efforts, he was slapped with a felony—assault on a law enforcement officer. U.S. Attorney for D.C. Jeanine Pirro, another high-ranking ripped-from-TV member of the Trump administration, posted a video statement.
“He thought it was funny. Well, he doesn’t think it’s funny today, because we charged him with a felony: assault on a police officer. And we’re going to back the police to the hilt. So there, stick your Subway sandwich somewhere else.”
I certainly feel safer knowing that drunk Instagram wine mom is on the case.
What’s Next for Dunn?
Attorney General Pam Bondi jumped into the fray, revealing Dunn had worked at the DOJ before being swiftly canned. “Not only is he FIRED,” she posted on X, stealing Trump’s catchphrase because we’re all living in an eternal hell, “he has been charged with a felony.” She also labeled Dunn as part of the “Deep State.”
Dunn now faces up to a year in prison, potentially making him the first person in modern history to do time for assault with a deli weapon.
All of this is happening against the backdrop of President Trump’s latest “tough-on-crime” push. In a move more suited to a militarized authoritarianism than municipal governance, he’s federalized D.C.’s police force and ordered 800 National Guard troops to help “clean up” the city, whatever that means.
Because he and the police and National Guard troops don’t seem to know what that means either. This whole fascist takeover is happening under the guise of a city overrun with crime, even though Trump’s own DOJ this past January sent out a press release with a headline boldly declaring that “Violent Crime In DC Hits 30 Year Low.”
These lazy b**tards cannot even be bothered to hide direct evidence of their own lives. Another sign that all of this is theatrical authoritarian bulls**t is that so far, DC neighborhoods with the highest crime rates are not part of the crime crackdown. It’s all theater
The President also floated a crime bill to make his D.C. takeover permanent, but that will require bipartisan support, which is unlikely to be obtained. Without that support, the federal takeover is set to expire after 30 days.
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