You know that drive home after a party, when you and your partner dissect everything—who was messy, who’s fighting, who brought that weird dip? That gossip session might be the healthiest part of your relationship.
A new study out of UC Riverside, published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, found that couples who gossip together are happier and more emotionally in sync. Researchers tracked 76 romantic pairs using a portable listening device called the EAR (Electronically Activated Recorder), which picked up snippets of conversation throughout their day. On average, couples gossiped for about 38 minutes daily—29 of those minutes were with each other.
“Whether or not we want to admit it, everyone gossips,” said lead author Chandler Spahr. “Gossip is ubiquitous.”
And while gossip usually gets a bad rap, this study didn’t label it good or bad—just present. Whether partners were being catty or singing someone’s praises, the simple act of sharing opinions boosted both personal happiness and relationship quality. It helped reinforce emotional alignment, trust, and what researchers called a sense of being “on the same team.”
Senior author and psychologist Megan Robbins put it plainly: “You talk about everybody at the party. Who said what; what’s going on with their relationship.” That post-event rehash isn’t petty—it’s bonding.
Same-gender couples reported higher well-being across the board, with woman-woman couples topping the charts in both total gossip time and relationship satisfaction.
Certified sex and relationship therapist Dr. Shamyra Howard told The Post that this kind of sharing builds both emotional and social intimacy. “Whether it’s harmless gossip, cultural commentary, or your own daily reflections, the magic is in sharing a perspective that belongs to just the two of you,” she said.
And if you’re not naturally chatty about other people, that’s fine—this kind of connection doesn’t have to rely on snarky drama. Dr. Howard shared a few gossip-adjacent ways to build that same intimacy:
- Debrief your day: Share the weird, the boring, the stuff that made you mad.
- React to media together: Shows, memes, news, whatever.
- Plan (or reminisce): Trips, date nights, even shared errands can spark connection.
- Point things out: Stuff happening in your neighborhood, on the street, in life.
- Ask random questions: “What’s your take on X?” and go from there.
It’s not always about deep talks and check-ins. Sometimes the glue is whispering, “Did you see what she was wearing?”
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