A child psychiatrist is going viral for her unapologetically honest advice for teen parents.
Dr. Willough Jenkins (@drwilloughjenkins), an associate professor at the University of California, posted a clip on TikTok with her 10 essential tips for parents navigating the often murky waters of adolescence.
“I talk to teens every day in my work… and I hear things they don’t always say at home,” Jenkins told Newsweek. “So many of them feel misunderstood, micromanaged or like their needs are invisible. I wanted to speak honestly on their behalf, but with deep respect for parents too.”
The clip—which listed reminders such as “They’re supposed to drift away. That isn’t rejection,” “One-on-one time still matters” and “They feel judged, often by you”—allowed Jenkins to be more direct, offering advice without worrying about offending parents.
Among the most shared lines from the post is her advice that teens need “mentorship, not management.”
Jenkins explained the difference between the two: “Management is about controlling outcomes—giving instructions, setting rigid rules and stepping in to prevent mistakes. Mentorship is about guiding, not controlling. It means being someone your teen can talk to, ask questions of, and turn to for advice.”
According to Jenkins, mentorship doesn’t mean relinquishing authority. “Teens thrive when they feel trusted, but they also need to understand what matters in your family and why,” she said. “It’s not about letting go completely, it’s about creating buy-in to expectations and not just demanding compliance.”
One of the paradoxes of parenting teens is the balance between giving them space and staying connected.
Jenkins told Newsweek that parents often misinterpret a teen’s withdrawal as a desire for complete independence. The pushback, she said, is normal.
“It doesn’t mean they don’t need you anymore,” she explained. “The key is to stay present in low-pressure ways. Ride in the car together, sit nearby when they’re doing homework or check in late at night when they seem more open. What matters is that they know you’re there and you care, even if they act like they don’t.”
Jenkins’ clip has clocked up 1.8 million views and a further 70,000 likes. Hundreds of teen parents commented on the clip, with many sharing the lessons they’ve learned throughout their parenting journey.
“When my 16-year-old asks me to go for a ride, I know he needs to chat,” one user wrote.
“Grace. When they DO make a mistake, and they will. Give them their consequences and then let it go. Don’t bring it up constantly,” another added.
A third commenter said: “Going through a rough patch with my 16-year-old right now. needed to see this. need to be stronger and be the anchor.”
Of all the insights in her now-viral list, Jenkins said one stands out as most often overlooked: “Your silence can feel like abandonment.”
“Parents often pull back when teens get moody or distant, thinking they need space, but if you stop reaching out entirely, they may feel forgotten or that you don’t care,” she told Newsweek.
“When teens get moody or distant, many parents assume they want to be left alone. So they pull back. Even if they don’t respond, please keep checking in.
“Send the text. Knock on the door. Offer the snack,” Jenkins said. “Teens still want to know that someone sees them and hasn’t given up.”
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