I just graduated from college. I feel pressured to travel or live a glamorous life in my 20s, but all I want is stability.

Four days after I graduated from Syracuse University on a sunny spring day in May, I was back in my childhood bedroom, staring at the decor I’d put up when I was 15.

My identity as a student had vanished, leaving me wondering who I was and who I’d be without it.

Everyone seems to agree that leaving college is supposed to be the beginning of freedom, a time for exploration and saying yes to everything — but all I can think about is how badly I want structure and a routine.

I feel pressured to live a glamorous postgrad life

On TikTok, I see people my age — including some I graduated with — island-hopping in Greece, sipping Aperol spritzes in Italy, and enjoying the views from rooftop bars in Spain.

Watching these videos makes me wonder if that’s what I’m supposed to want right now. Even though I know everything can be glorified on social media, I still feel pressured to make the most of this free part of my life. When else will I find myself free from responsibilities like an academic schedule or a 9-to-5 job?

Logic eventually takes over, though, prompting more questions like, “What about the money? How could I afford that? What about falling behind in the job search? Is all that traveling really as fun as it looks?”

Sometimes, I even catch myself wondering, “Am I just boring?”

But then I remember I moved back and forth between home and school twice a year for the past four years, never truly feeling like I belonged in either place permanently. So, is it really so bad that I’d like to settle down for a while?

The truth is that my idea of a new adventure is building something that’s entirely my own. I want to move to a city and decorate my apartment, start my career surrounded by people who also want to learn and grow, and become a regular at my new favorite coffee shop.

But choosing that feels almost radical, like chasing stability in your 20s is wrong.

I’m redefining what making the most of my 20s means to me

Everyone’s version of making the most of their 20s is different. For some, it could mean pushing themselves outside their comfort zone, staying in the town they grew up in, taking up new hobbies, or building new relationships.

After all, not everyone has the option to travel abroad, especially at such a young age.

For me, freedom in my 20s means building a life I’m proud of. It’s having the time and money to prioritize seeing my friends, because that’s what gives me the same rush of happiness as hopping on a flight to somewhere new. It also means finding joy in my work and building new relationships.

Even now, as I work toward starting my career, I’m prioritizing stability in my routine — a daily morning workout, hours dedicated to the job search or opportunities that come my way, and working my 4 p.m. restaurant shift — and I’ve never felt so secure in my lifestyle.

Eventually, I want to return to the city I studied abroad in or post my vacation highlights on social media. But for right now, I’m perfectly comfortable with finding stability and leaving my spontaneity for later, when I have an entirely fulfilling life to come back to.

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