According to recent research, 4 in 10 adults feel their partner is “not their type on paper”—yet are still fulfilled in their relationship.
Sometimes, we think we know what we want…someone who is similar to us, has a compatible lifestyle, can bond over shared passions, etc. However, it’s quite common that opposites really do, in fact, attract—and 57 percent of couples agree with that notion.
Additionally, the poll—which was commissioned by Tim Tam, a chocolate brand—found that 92 percent felt their current partner has at least one opposing personality trait to their own. For example, 24 percent said they are early morning risers while their partners prefer to sleep in (or vice versa).
This goes to show that we might not realize what we want until we have it. While, on paper, we might believe we want someone who shares the same hobbies, same music taste, same personality, same passions…that’s not always the most successful choice.
I remember early on in my current relationship—and for months before it, when my boyfriend and I were still friends—I thought for sure we were too different.
He’s extroverted, has hundreds of people in his circle, and can spend a month on the road away from home living the rockstar lifestyle. I, on the other hand, require a wild amount of alone time, have a few close friends, and am a major homebody who prefers day or weekend trips over long excursions.
At first, I thought for sure we were incompatible—and that’s exactly what I told him when he confessed his feelings for me.
I, too, felt the romantic spark and deep connection, but I was terrified we were too “opposite” to make it work.
“Our lifestyles are just too conflicting,” I’d tell him. “We’re much better as friends.”
And so, we stayed that way…that is, until I realized how foolish I was being. I’d fallen completely head-over-heels in love with someone who was not at all who I’d thought my “person” would be. He was even better.
And despite our differences, we align on what matters most, including our values, morals, and life goals. What I’d assumed would be an impossible relationship to maintain has turned out to be effortless and more fulfilling than I’ve ever experienced with my “type” in past years.
And I’m certainly not alone: 64 percent of those who have been with someone opposite to them said they were shocked to end up with their partner. But even further, 28 percent said they and their partner are “alike in all the right ways,” and 66 percent said it “keeps things interesting.”
That’s for damn sure.
“Being with someone who sees the world differently, has different strengths, or approaches life in another way can bring fresh perspectives into a relationship,” said a spokesperson for Tim Tam, per the New York Post. “It encourages both partners to grow, challenge assumptions, and learn from one another. When two people are different, they often complement each other in unexpected ways. These contrasts can help strike a balance and create a dynamic that works uniquely for them.”
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