Maybe Chris Martin knew what he was doing when he said, in front of 65,000 screaming fans, “Either they’re having an affair or they’re very shy.”
As most of the internet knows by now, they were allegedly having an affair.
During Coldplay’s sold-out show in Foxborough, Massachusetts, on July 16, cameras panned to a man and woman in what can only be described as a loving embrace—he stood behind her, resting his chin on the top of her head while they swayed to the music. Both were beaming, their faces flushed from the summer heat, up until the moment that reality set in: They’d been chosen for the Jumbotron’s “kiss cam.” After about a second on the screen, she hid her face in her hands, while he ducked behind the stadium railing (both incredibly incriminating reactions that they probably regret in hindsight). Within hours, the couple was identified by tabloids as Andy Byron and Kristin Cabot—and things only got juicier from there.
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As the alleged details rolled in, I and other gossip fiends (so, the whole internet) couldn’t contain ourselves at the sheer scandal of it all. He’s the married CEO of Astronomer, an AI-tech firm that’s reportedly worth billions? He has two children? She works for him? As the head of…human resources?
Even my sweet, soft-spoken mother—a former HR professional herself—was dumbfounded by this story, repeating “What?!” as I spilled the industry tea. “Well, she’ll never work in HR again,” she said.
Over the next 24 hours, TikTokers published dozens of videos dissecting the clip, pausing it, rewinding it, and zooming in on “the woman on the left.” (What does she know? we collectively wondered.) Even traditional news outlets joined the tabloids in coverage of the incident.
Of course, as is the case with any scandal, there’s bound to be some collateral damage—Byron’s wife reportedly deleted her Facebook in the hours after the video of her husband’s alleged affair began going viral. His children are likely reeling over their father’s reported infidelity too (though if this creator claiming to be his daughter is legit, she’s finding the humor—and free clout—in the drama). It is, honestly, the perfect story for this moment in time.
And while we empathize with Bryon’s family, the stakes are relatively low. This is not life or death; this is not a scandal involving elected officials; innocent children have not suffered irreversible trauma as a result of the pair’s actions. Again, I don’t mean to downplay the emotional toll faced by those involved, but to point out that many of the internet’s biggest “scandals” of the past five years have had dark undertones and serious consequences, from the Gabby Petito investigation to the Ruby Franke case to the murder of the United Healthcare CEO. Rarely has the internet come together like this—holding hands in schadenfreude—over a drama that is nonviolent, nonpartisan, not rooted in conspiracy, and not too niche to bridge the generational divide between, for example, a millennial daughter and her boomer mother.
Byron’s status also makes him the perfect villain. Here’s a white man, a tech CEO, a reported billionaire. He is the poster child for the elite class that seems to be getting richer and richer by the day while American society becomes increasingly stratified. And he was caught red-handed.
In the original video, which has now been viewed nearly 60 million times, we see the split-second when he registers the severity of his folly. Just before he ducks out of sight, we catch a glimpse of his face: His eyes are wide, his brows are raised. He’s a deer caught in the Gillette Stadium lights. A man in power is being forced to confront the consequences of his actions. I think we can all agree that that’s a happy ending.
The post The Coldplay ‘Kiss Cam’ Affair Is the Perfect Micro-Drama for Right Now appeared first on Glamour.
