Listen up, millennials: We asked 7 Gen Zers what they think about the ‘Gen Z stare’ debate

A 21-year-old from Boston thinks the “Gen Z stare” is overblown. A 20-year-old from the Bay Area said she sees it all the time. A 17-year-old heard from her parents that she had been inadvertently doing it.

Conversations with seven Gen Zers indicate young people are divided on the idea that their generation often responds to questions with blank, wide-eyed stares, as many millennials on TikTok have gleefully suggested.

Some told Business Insider they flatly rejected the idea that there is such a thing as the “Gen Z stare” — others said they saw it firsthand.

Those who said there could be some truth to it floated potential contributing factors, such as lingering effects of COVID lockdowns, an adolescence spent online, or maybe that blank stare is simply coming from someone who is high.

While not everyone agreed, they all had thoughts on the viral debate.

So listen up, millennials. It’s time to pass Gen Z the mic.

Brenda Alarcon, 20

On a recent visit to Coldstone Creamery, Brenda Alarcon asked a young worker for their favorite flavor. The employee stared back at them. “The transaction was made with minimal words,” Alarcon said.

Alarcon said she’s seen the “Gen Z stare” in professional settings, too. At a recent networking event, she noticed that the other Gen Z networkers would “freeze up.”

“I’m the one that’s keeping the conversation going,” she said. “It’s not just one time, it’s multiple.”

She has her suspicions as to the root cause. The COVID-19 pandemic is an obvious answer, she said. Another theory stems from her earlier days as a waitress, when she would serve blank-staring young customers.

“It’s because they hit their pen,” she said, referencing the slim, THC oil vape pens that became popular in the last five years.

Trinity Starr Rutledge, 17

Trinity Starr Rutledge told BI she thought the trend was “pretty stupid.” Working as a cashier and desk assistant, she’s had many millennials stare back at her requests at small talk.

“I think you’re just talking to a rude person,” Starr Rutledge said. “I don’t think it’s right to label our generation as people who have this stare.”

To the millennials posting about the stare, Starr Rutledge had a message: “It’s not our fault that we’re cooler.”

Megan Easton, 26

Megan Easton said she accepts the idea that her generation is more socially awkward than the others, especially the younger members of Gen Z who grew up on social media. (At 26, Easton identifies as a “Zilennial.”) Still, Easton said she mostly believes that her generation’s stare is an air of nonchalance.

“It comes from a lack of caring as much what people think,” Easton said. “Where an older generation might think it’s rude or not socially acceptable, Gen Z is more to the point, and their humor’s a little drier.”

Easton said that the stare shouldn’t make older generations think Gen Z is “disrespectful or unintelligent.” It’s merely a difference in how different generations communicate, she said.

Lindsey Cook, 27

Lindsey Cook likes to start her interactions with Gen Z baristas by saying, “I’m ready to order when you are, no rush.” That way, if the barista does have social anxiety, it allows them to work on their own timeline and not just stare back.

“It’s very uncomfortable,” Cook said. “Things need to be relearned now that we’re resuming life as normal as possible after COVID.”

Online, some young people have retorted that small talk isn’t mandatory, or that they didn’t consent to a conversation. “But when they take a job in hospitality or customer service, it’s their job to make people feel welcome,” Cook said.

Emerson Hubbard, 17

Emerson Hubbard thought she was too nervous to give off a “Gen Z stare.” Then, she talked about it with her parents.

“I was talking to my family today and they were like, ‘You have done it before,'” Hubbard said. “I get it. Sometimes I just zone out in the conversation and I’m just staring at them.”

Hubbard said she doesn’t think of the stare as much of a problem. She sees a “one-sided” debate between millennials and Gen Z, especially in her TikTok comments, where she said a lot of millennials were “going ham.”

Eli Toy, 25

Eli Toy was raised by Gen Xers, not millennials. Toy said that she’s “open to conversation” — but that other Gen Zers may be less fluent in small talk because of that generational difference.

“From what I’ve seen, a lot of Gen Zers that were raised by millennials had more technology in their childhoods, so that could impact it,” Toy said. “The biggest tech I had was a pink Nintendo.”

Netta Dar, 21

Netta Dar has seen the “Gen Z stare” before.

She referenced the character April Ludgate from the TV show “Parks and Recreation,” who often stared down her colleagues with non-responses. Interestingly enough, April, played by actor Aubrey Plaza, is a millennial in the show.

That could suggest that the “Gen Z stare” isn’t specific to Gen Z, but to people who are still developing their social skills.

While Dar hasn’t seen the stare among her college-aged friends, she said she does notice some social awkwardness in her younger sister’s friends.

“It definitely depends on the age as well, and how far along you are in your development, where the frontal lobe is at,” Dar said.

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