A millennial mom has shared the moment she realized she is doing a good job at parenting after capturing a heartwarming interaction between her daughter and a classmate on camera.
Courtney Spates, 31, told Newsweek about her worries that she isn’t a good parent—fears that were eased by her daughter’s touching reaction.
In the viral TikTok video, which has garnered over 14.6 million views on her account (@courtneyspates.girlmom), 4-year-old Harper is seen sitting on stage wearing a pink paper mortarboard, beaming with pride as her non-verbal classmate Reed Southward, 5, graduates from prekindergarten.
Text overlaid on the clip reads: “Me always worrying if I’m a good mom, raising a good human.” It continues: “My daughter at her [prekindergarten] promotion absolutely overjoyed for her classmate who is neurodivergent getting his diploma.”
Neurodiversity is the concept that people think, learn, and behave in different, equally valid ways, often referring to variations such as autism, ADHD, or learning disabilities without seeing them as deficits. About 1 in 5 children in the United States are estimated to be neurodivergent, with a range of learning and thinking differences, according to the nonprofit Understood.
Reed’s mom, Meagan, 37, told Newsweek: “She is very much his little momma and his hype girl. Reed is non-speaking, so Harper is able to help fill in the blanks.
“She sees Reed for who he is at his core; the little boy with a huge heart and a smile that will make you melt and doesn’t let the stimming or breakdowns discourage her or scare her.
“Harper took the time to be patient and observe without passing judgment, which I know Courtney and her husband helped instill.”
Spates, a speech pathologist from New Kent, Virginia, said: “I think it’s normal as a mom to wonder if you’re raising them to be the best they can be.
“I worry about being a good mom because I want to raise a child who grows up to be a good person.”
A 2023 Pew Research Center survey of 3,757 U.S. parents with children under 18 found that 62 percent say parenting has been at least somewhat harder than they expected, with about 26 percent saying it has been a lot harder; this feeling is more common among mothers (30 percent) than fathers (20 percent).
Despite these challenges, most parents are confident in their performance: 64 percent rate themselves as doing an excellent or very good job; 32 percent say they are doing a good job; and only 4 percent believe they are doing an only fair or poor job.
Spates said that she is determined to raise Harper to be “kind, empathetic, and someone who loves others without judgment.”
She added: “In a world that can be harsh or divided, I want to make sure I’m planting the right seeds and teaching her compassion and how to stand up for what’s right. I know I can’t control everything, but her reaction in that video made me feel as if I’m doing something right as a mom.
“I knew that she had a great relationship with him from his teacher and mom. So, seeing her so excited and happy for him made me so incredibly proud of her.”
The video has struck a chord with viewers, earning over 3.1 million likes.
One commenter wrote: “You can see that she’s always believed in him.” Another added: “As a mum of neurodivergent kids, I’m sobbing. You’re raising a beautiful soul.”
A third shared a heartbreaking reality for many families: “As a mom with two neurodivergent kids and someone who wished to see this when my kids were little … thank you for raising a good kid! Our kids need all the cheerleaders they can get sometimes.”
Southward told Newsweek: “I urge parents to have the ‘hard’ conversations early with their kids about neurodivergent children and all the wonderful things they bring to the table. Having to worry about your child not having friends on top of everything else is gut-wrenching.”
The post Mom Always Questions Her Parenting—Then Sees Daughter at Pre-K Event appeared first on Newsweek.
