The daters are down. The dating apps feel universally terrible. (Or, as one person noted, the apps are where “I keep meeting the devil incarnate.”)
But out of an unlikely font of romantic inspiration — the New York mayor’s race — came a sign of hope.
“Zohran shows that if you’re pure of heart, Hinge is fine, good even,” one dater posted.
“Maybe I should give it a try again,” another posted.
They were responding to the revelation that Zohran Mamdani, 33, the Democratic mayoral nominee, had met his wife, Rama Duwaji, 27, an animator and illustrator, on the dating app Hinge.
If they could do it, maybe all was not lost.
App dating seems to need a boost these days. A.I.-powered matchmaking and tightened security are just some of the ways that the dating app companies have tried to shore up engagement, but some users continue to express fatigue over online dating, and Match Group and Bumble have lost billions in market value since 2021.
A 2024 Forbes Health Survey reported that 78 percent of daters said they were feeling mentally and physically exhausted by the services. A 2023 Axios/Generation Lab survey of college and graduate students across the country found that 79 percent of respondents did not use dating apps.
In my conversations with dozens of match seekers in writing about dating for the past two and a half years, people have said that using dating apps can feel like another job, that it’s difficult to truly gauge compatibility through a screen and that they prefer meeting people in real life.
Still, 3 in 10 adults are still using the apps, according to a 2023 Pew Research Center study. And people feel like they can’t fully give up.
So New Yorkers, and politics watchers, and romance fans in general seized on Mr. Mamdani’s Hinge success as a small, unexpected moment of reassurance that it is possible to actually meet someone, that it’s not all endless swiping and disappointment.
“It definitely gives me hope that they found each other on Hinge — I think in general, I feel a little bit disillusioned by the apps,” said Jenny Gorelick, a comedian and writer living in New York City who also volunteered for Mr. Mamdani’s campaign. In her Substack blog, “Night Out,” she writes about her experience exploring New York’s nightlife as a single woman.
“I’ve only ever, in almost a decade of dating on Hinge, had one boyfriend that came from the app,” she added. “Out of 220 matches on Hinge, one boyfriend is not amazing odds.”
Mr. Mamdani seems to know that his story may feel like an outlier, but he encouraged singles not to give up.
In an interview with the podcast “The Bulwark” in June, the subject of dating came up. Cameron Kasky, one of the show’s hosts, expressed his dismay over New York City’s social scene and his love life.
“In terms of dating, it has been a disaster for me lately — my heart has been broken, I have broken hearts,” he said.
He explained how difficult he had found it to make connections in real life, something he pointed as deeply affecting members of Gen Z
How, he asked Mr. Mamdani, would he as mayor revitalize the New York social scene?
“I met my wife on Hinge, so there is still hope in those dating apps,” he replied.
Jeniea Howard, a 32-year-old content creator who often recaps her app dates online, even the failed ones, agreed that there was hope out there. Her move to Washington, D.C., from New York City two months ago did not stop her from using Hinge, the only dating app she’s currently on. It has, in fact, become one of her main reasons to stay on: to meet new people in a new environment.
“I met my ex on Hinge, and we dated for close to three years, and we really only broke up because we weren’t as compatible as we originally thought,” she said.
“If I found him and he was great, I’m sure I can find somebody else,” she added.
She also worked from home and said that because all of her hobbies weren’t the type of things that would attract straight men — pole dancing, boutique fitness classes, drag shows — she realized that she probably wouldn’t meet her man in any of those spaces.
“I’m not going to change up my entire life and the things that I love doing, so let me go back on this app and maybe I’ll have more luck, because the chances of me running into someone were a little bit slimmer,” she said.
Like Ms. Howard, Akiera Charles hasn’t abandoned the apps. She re-downloaded Hinge on July 1, just two days after she had broken up with a man she had dated for about a month. After venting about her breakup on Instagram, she said, part of getting back on the app was because she wanted to take her mind off her ex. The other reason, though, was that she still had hope for the app after dating someone she had met on Hinge for about a year.
“Since that point of me meeting that person on Hinge and it being successful initially, I still hold out that type of hope, like maybe I am going to find my person on Hinge,” she said.
She also has friends who have had success stories on the app, including one woman who is married to, and recently had a baby with, a man she met on Hinge.
“If all of these people around me are meeting their person on Hinge,” she said, “there has to be something in this app.”
Send your thoughts, stories and tips to [email protected].
Gina Cherelus covers dating, relationships and culture for The Times and writes the weekly dating column Third Wheel.
The post What’s Your Sign to Keep Swiping? appeared first on New York Times.
