Courtesy of Ashley Archambault
As a former middle school and high school English teacher, it was always important to me to stay up-to-date with the new words and phrases my students were using. If I noticed something new the kids were saying, I would research the meaning later on.
I felt I needed to know their language in order to fully understand them and reach them on their level. But now that I’m out of the classroom, I just can’t keep up with the lingo, and in recent years, it has become difficult for me to keep up with my 11-year-old son’s vocabulary.
My son gets a thrill out of my asking him what something means
I’ve discovered that asking my son about an unknown word, instead of doing my own research, is a chance for him to teach me something for a change. Most of the time, I think he really enjoys that. He gets to say, “I can’t believe you don’t know what that means!”
For the first time, he is experiencing knowing things that I don’t. Even at his young age, he gets to be the authority on something, even if that thing might feel small. I think the use of his own language gives him some autonomy to ease into.
It’s natural for him and his friends to have their own way of communicating
My son is at an age where he is becoming more independent, and I am still working on adjusting to that. In order to become more comfortable with his newfound independence, I’ve decided to stop worrying about every little thing, including slang.
Every generation has its own terms, which come from its culture. My son should be allowed to use his own slang, just like I had mine at his age. As a parent, I have a lot of concerns, and I’ve decided that the language he uses with his friends doesn’t rank highly on that list.
I like getting to hear him explain something in his own unique way
My son recently explained that “skibidi” is a word that can mean both “everything and nothing.” I thought his definition was really interesting. It was both silly and thoughtful, a lot like he can be. Part of why I’ve started to prefer asking him what something means is because I like to get a glimpse into the way his mind works.
Even better, the real-world explanation I’m getting from him is so much more authentic and personalized than the definition I would have had if I’d researched on my own. Then, every time I hear the word used somewhere, I get to think of it in the way he explained it to me. I get to recall us connecting through conversation.
It gives us something to talk about when he doesn’t otherwise want to open up
My son has definitely entered pre-teen territory. He is starting middle school, which I am particularly familiar with after having taught that age group. I can really see him pulling away from me and growing up. He is putting more walls up than he ever has before, as far as not sharing everything with me.
I know that, as his social life grows, we’ll spend even less time together. So whenever he still wants to spend time with me, such as going on a walk or even just running an errand, I am really present with him. I put my full energy into keeping the conversation going, and I no longer care about what we talk about, just as long as we’re talking.
Asking him about these silly words is a way I’ve figured out how to still connect with him, even as he’s getting older.
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