A New Hampshire woman has recalled how her mother-in-law questioned the idea her newborn daughter could be given her maiden name—and her husband’s response.
Most women in opposite-sex marriages take their spouse’s name when they get married. A 2023 Pew Research Center survey found 79 percent of respondents followed this time-honored tradition, while 14 percent kept their last name and 5 percent hyphenated the two.
Jenna LaBarre was one of those wives to buck tradition. “My husband and I got married four years ago, and I never changed my name,” LaBarre told Newsweek. “I initially intended to and, as more time went by, I questioned whether I really wanted to.”
That might go some way to explaining the mix-up that occurred four months ago in hospital, just after LaBarre had given birth to the younger of her two daughters.
LaBarre’s mother-in-law was visiting to meet her granddaughter for the first time but was stopped in her tracks when she noticed the name on the baby’s identifier tag.
As per hospital rules, the baby had been given her mom’s surname, which, because of her refusal to take her husband’s name, was LaBarre.
In a video posted to TikTok under the handle @jennalabarre, LaBarre recalled how her mother-in-law saw the name tag and began to protest, saying: “they’ve got the wrong last name! That’s supposed to be Stantion [her husband’s last name].”
LaBarre said that, “without skipping a beat,” her husband jokingly challenged his mom’s assumption. “How do you know that’s not her last name?”
The response was a welcome one for LaBarre. “It definitely made me happy,” she said. “Especially when you’re in the thick of that postpartum emotional roller coaster, any one comment can set you off, so it was just a relief to know he had my back, even if just joking.”
LaBarre also said how she joined the discussion about her daughter’s last name with her mom, reminding her that “she did all the work” and was pregnant for “nine miserable months,” so the baby would have her last name.
Though both LaBarre and her husband were “kidding” around with his mom, her response was eye-opening. She told them that “you can’t have two kids with two different last names” as it would make things hard at school and at the doctor’s office.
LaBarre said that both their daughters took Stanton as their surnames. “Ultimately, that’s something I was happy with because we’re happily married and I have complete confidence that my husband will be a great and stable father to him, so I was happy to let him pass down his name,” LaBarre said.
“But if I were unmarried or had doubts about my partner’s parenting abilities, I don’t think I would have made the same decision.”
LaBarre was also keen to stress she has a “great relationship” with her mother-in-law, even if she didn’t agree with her comments that day. “I think they were the result of being indoctrinated by a patriarchal system, and, in general, she is a wonderful person,” she said.
What surprised LaBarre more than anything was the furore the post appeared to generate. At the time of writing, it has been watched over 2.7 million times, with many viewers in agreement that no one should have to take a last name they don’t want and a similar amount supportive of the family tradition.
“Many agree that this is an outdated patriarchal practice, yet we continue to do it anyway, but a lot of people still believe in tradition, and many people on each side are quite passionate about it, so it leaves room for a heated debate,” LaBarre said. “Which it seems a lot of people are doing in the comment section.”
“Start normalizing giving kids mom’s last name,” one of the most popular comments on the post said. “It’s not that deep. It’s fine to give the father’s last name,” another countered.
Though LaBarre was happy for the debate to continue, she was surprised and upset when some women contacted her to say their partners had been “upset” by the name on their baby’s tag and that it was a “big issue for them.”
LaBarre, meanwhile, admitted on her video that she could have an interesting decision to make if she has any more children.
The post Woman ‘Happy’ at Husband’s Response After His Mom Questions Baby’s Name appeared first on Newsweek.
