Ermida Koduah and Theodore Brown-Matos Santos-Gaffney got engaged on Juneteenth in 2024 and were married this year during Juneteenth weekend — by design. They say their love story is about much more than just the love the two of them share.
“I believe our marriage shows a new type of Black love,” Ms. Koduah said, “one that is culturally diverse in many aspects. I’m Ghanaian American. But I’m a mix of three different Ghanaian tribes — Fante, Ashanti, and Ewe. Theodore comes from rich Afro-Brazilian and Black American backgrounds.”
When they first connected on July 4, 2018, on Bumble, their cultural backgrounds were at the forefront of their connections.
“I swiped right on a couple of people,” Ms. Koduah said. “But I ended up having a conversation with him because he was the most interesting. He wanted to go to Brazil to see the eclipse and mentioned he was half Brazilian.”
On July 13, 2018, they had their first date at a Nationals baseball game in Washington.
Neither was focused on the game, and they “spent the entire time engrossed in conversation,” Ms. Koduah said, “sharing stories and exploring our diverse cultural backgrounds.”
After the game, they had dinner at 1230 Afrofusion Restaurant and Champagne Lounge, a Ghanaian-owned eatery that has since closed. “Theodore tried Ghanaian suya kebabs for the first time,” Ms. Koduah said.
As they continued to see one another, Ms. Koduah said, they were able to truly “appreciate and celebrate our differences, enriching our connection.” By October 2018, they made their relationship official.
By September 2020, Ms. Koduah moved to England for graduate school at the London School of Economics. They assumed the nine months apart wouldn’t be too difficult, especially since they intended to visit one another. But the pandemic thwarted those plans.
“I was prepared to go abroad, but we hadn’t planned for Covid,” Ms. Koduah said.
Neither Ms. Koduah nor Mr. Santos-Gaffney traveled during their time away. “It was hard, she was stressed out,” Mr. Santos-Gaffney said.
They stayed connected through phone calls, video chats and virtual dates. “We’d watch movies together, and he would send dinner,” Ms. Koduah said
In June 2021, after completing her class work, Ms. Koduah returned to New York and finished her dissertation before graduating in December 2021. She also began working remotely for a Washington-based international development contracting company, where she worked on a U.S.A.I.D. project based in Kenya.
Although the two were still living apart, travel between New York and Washington was easy. “We could see each other every month,” Ms. Koduah said.
In February 2022, when Ms. Koduah got a job at another international development contracting firm in Washington, they were finally able to move into an apartment together near Northeast Washington, where they currently live.
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Mr. Santos-Gaffney proposed on June 19, 2024, during a private yacht outing on the Potomac River. The cruise included dinner from the Black-owned restaurant Milk & Honey.
Ms. Koduah, 30, is a senior consultant at a firm based in Tysons Corner, Va. She earned a bachelor’s degree from the University at Albany in political science and globalization studies and a master’s degree from the London School of Economics in development management. She was born in Brescia, Italy, but moved to the Bronx when she was 4.
Mr. Santos-Gaffney, 31, is a government contractor and systems engineer for a company based in Reston, Va. He attended Howard University and the University of the District of Columbia. He was born and raised in Washington.
The pair were wed June 21 at St. Augustine Church in Washington by the Rev. Patrick Smith, a Roman Catholic priest, before 120 guests. Ms. Koduah said that 90 percent of the vendors hired for their wedding were Black-owned businesses, which was important to the couple. “Our guest list was 95 percent Black, with loved ones traveling from all over the world,” Ms. Koduah said. “It was important that our food, music, photography, décor, and even our clothing, reflected who we are and celebrated our cultures and backgrounds.”
A reception followed at the Homewood Suites by Hilton Largo, Washington, D.C. Their original venue, Newton White Mansion in Mitchellville, Md., had lost power when a severe thunderstorm swept through the area. A backup generator also failed.
The day before, despite the power loss, the couple had a traditional Ghanaian marriage ceremony at Newton White Mansion. “The groom presented himself with his family and provided his family-to-be with a dowry and gifts,” Ms. Koduah said. She wore an Ewe kente, a type of handwoven cloth. Mr. Santos-Gaffney donned a safari suit “that matched the shades of gold and burgundy in my kente,” Ms. Koduah said.
Ms. Koduah said, “The timing of our wedding feels especially meaningful as it connects our celebration of love to the celebration of freedom for our people.”
Mr. Santos-Gaffney’s father, Theodore Gaffney, was a prominent Civil Rights leader in Washington and a renowned photographer who documented pivotal moments in civil rights history, including the 1961 Freedom Rides. “He dedicated his life to advocating for equality, and we wanted to honor his legacy by joining together on this important day,” Ms. Koduah said.
Beyond their love, Ms. Koduah said that, for them, getting married on Juneteenth was “also about acknowledging the struggles and triumphs of Black communities, both in America and across the African diaspora,” Ms. Koduah said. “It signifies a new era, especially for Black people.”
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