My editor, Patia Braithwaite, is close with her family members. I’ve noticed that when she’s telling me about their quality time together, she’ll throw out names for their gatherings, like Sangria Sundays and Money Club. After a while, I asked her to explain.
“It’s just branding,” she said with a shrug.
Giving a social function a fun name, Patia told me, seems to amuse her family. And when the name sticks, so does the event. That’s how a pitcher of sangria on a random summer weekend became a tradition. And how a group chat about personal finance turned into a quarterly meeting to discuss milestones and goals.
Why do these activities seem so tempting? All Patia did was give them a name. I asked Priya Parker, the author of “The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters,” and she said that she wasn’t surprised.
Gatherings flourish when structure is baked into them, she explained. And framing time together in an intentional way, she added, helps people understand what they’re walking into, how to show up and why it matters.
Branding a family activity can also increase buy-in, which Parker has called “the quiet force behind gatherings that stick.” So I asked experts how to get creative with everyday get-togethers to make them more enticing, fun and easier to initiate.
Brainstorm a reason — any reason — to get together.
Finding more excuses to convene, even if they’re small or offbeat, can give us “a portfolio of ways to engage each other,” said Brent Smith, a professor of marketing and associate vice president for executive education at Emerson College.
Look for opportunities that can prompt a gathering, Parker said. They should fit your life right now, she added, rather than the mythical “someday,” when your children leave the nest or you get a bigger place, for example.
I once received an email invitation with the subject line “Too Many Tomatoes.” My friend’s garden had become overrun with them, so she invited people over for a tomato-themed dinner and a gift bag of tomatoes to take home.
To help you land on a reason to get together, Parker recommended asking yourself: Is there something I want to learn about, or something I’m nostalgic for? Is there anything that I’ve been putting off that would be more fun to do as a group? (Steve Martin, Martin Short and Tom Hanks, for example, have been known to throw “colonoscopy parties,” during which they down liquids, play poker and then go to lunch together after their procedures.)
Or you may simply want to hang out with your people. One of Parker’s social media followers told her about a ritual with friends called the Half-Assed Potluck, she said. Their rules are simple: Bring whatever is in your fridge or pick something up on the way. Wear sweats. Don’t clean. Use paper plates. Simple. Appealing. Fun.
Dream up a brand name. The catchier, the better.
Think of a description for your gathering and then amp it up a bit, Parker advised. “The best gatherers I know are also really great namers,” she said. “They don’t just throw a dinner; they host Leftover Roulette. They don’t say ‘family meeting’; they call it State of the Union and Snacks.”
Humor is a bonus, Parker said. A good name “creates just enough intrigue or delight to make people want to come,” she added.
A friend of mine once invited me to a Puppy Party. I couldn’t say yes fast enough — which I did before I knew what I was signing up for. Later, I learned that she was socializing three rescue dogs and wanted people to play with them.
Consider making your event into a series.
Some gatherings are one-offs, like the tomato surplus party, but others can easily become rituals, said Adam Alter, a professor of marketing at the New York University Stern School of Business and the author of “Irresistible.”
Repetition, Dr. Alter said, “is one of the real drivers of meaning for human beings — spending time with the same people, doing certain things on the same day.”
And branding can be a powerful way to turn a one-time gathering into a ritual, Parker said. “When something has a name, it becomes easier to remember, talk about and return to,” she said.
“Over time, that repetition creates culture,” Parker said. And in families, where habits run deep, a new name such as Sangria Sundays “can be the easiest way to invite a new kind of energy,” she added.
Inspired by Patia, I texted my parents an invitation that read, “Do you want to come to the ice cream tasting party of your childhood dreams?” (My folks are used to my hyperbole.)
“Do birds fly?” my mother texted back.
I sent a link to an ice cream place that can ship six pints, and told them to pick their favorites. They’re coming over next week.
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Let’s keep the conversation going. Follow Well on Instagram, or write to us at [email protected]. And check out last week’s newsletter about how to cultivate small joys.
Jancee Dunn, who writes the weekly Well newsletter for The Times, has covered health and science for more than 20 years.
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